Random 'Beethoven,' Silly Dog Movie, It's Actually Much, Much Darker Than You Think (13 items)

• 

  (#8) Mr. Newton Was 26 Years Older Than Mrs. Newton

  When Charles Grodin played George Newton, he was 56 years old. Bonnie Hunt played his wife, and she was 30. While there's nothing illegal about a man being married to a woman virtually half his age, there is something inherently gross about it.

  Of course, there's no indication in the movie that he's significantly older (other than his skin), but it's still an odd choice, especially considering their eldest child looks to be in her early teens – meaning 30-year-old Alice Newton could have been the first star of Teen Mom.
• 

  (#13) Dean Jones Played The Dad In The Animated Series

  That's right: Dean Jones, the guy who played the dog murderer in the original movie, voiced George Newton, the man who thwarted the dog shooter, in the Beethoven animated series.

  One could look at this as a nice bit of redemption for Jones who had exclusively played good guys before his role as Dr. Varnick. Perhaps, however, he was still corrupted by his method acting and was only posing as George Newton to get close to Beethoven so he could finish the job he started all those years earlier.
• 

  (#2) Dr. Varnick Shoots Dogs In The Head At Point-Blank Range

  The villain in this children's canine movie EXECUTES DOGS BY SHOOTING THEM IN THE HEAD! Of course, audiences never actually see it happen, but still. In the film's climactic scene, he is in his lab with Beethoven, holding a revolver aimed right between the St. Bernard's eyes – and this is all part of his real occupation, supposedly.

  Why? How can that be remotely necessary? What type of data does that provide? 
• 

  (#1) The Villain Is A Fake Vet/Real... Weapons Scientist?

  It's clear that the villain, Dr. Herman Varnick, is not a vet. It's less clear what he actually is. It appears as though he Dr. Varnick is testing out weapons on dogs, supposedly for scientific purposes, but his methods lack any real intent aside from cruelty. But again, to reiterate: the antagonist in this PG-rated dog movie tests weapons on dogs. But how does he do it?
• 

  (#11) A Kid Almost Died

  There's a scene in Beethoven where the youngest Newton, Emily, almost drowns. The Newton children are being babysat by a woman named Devonia who fails spectacularly in her duties.

  While she's teaching the two older kids "Lady Marmalade," a song about prostitutes, the youngest child casually walks into the backyard and falls into the pool. She's saved by Beethoven who had to break out of his kennel to rescue her. There's like a 90% chance she could have died. 
• 

  (#10) There Were Seven Sequels, An Animated Series, And A Video Game

  Beethoven is all the proof anyone needs to understand the evils of commercialism. There were eight Beethoven movies, most of which were direct-to-video. Regardless, the movie studio milked those St. Bernards for all they were worth, at the expense of art.

  With the addition of an animated series and a video game, Beethoven ultimately boasted its own universe, and for a story that started with a dog murderer, that's messed up.

New Random Displays    Display All By Ranking