Random  | Best Random Tools

  • Bruce Wayne on Random Cinematic Alpha Males You Never Noticed Are Almost Certainly Virgins

    (#13) Bruce Wayne

    • Justice League, The Batman, Batman: Under the Red Hood, Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Part 2, Batman: Gotham Knight, Batman vs. Superman, Batman

    Bruce Wayne is the ultimate alpha male. He’s James Bond meets Bruce Lee dressed as a gothic monster. He seemingly never sleeps, he’s always solving crimes, and he’s in amazing shape – but to do all of those things, he’s definitely never had time to have sex. That whole "billionaire playboy" thing is definitely an act.

    When you think about it, Batman’s virginity is probably what powers his crime fighting abilities. If he were having any kind of sex he wouldn't be nearly as angry.

  • Xander Cage on Random Cinematic Alpha Males You Never Noticed Are Almost Certainly Virgins

    (#14) Xander Cage

    • xXx, XXX: The Return of Xander Cage

    The man, the myth, the bald, Xander Cage is always shown in spicy situations with super sexy ladies. But do you think he’s actually having sex with any of them? Cage honestly seems like he’s more interested in wearing insane coats than getting busy.

    If you’re a real X-head, you’re probably saying, “Xander Cage slept with a bunch of models in London in xXX: Return of Xander Cage!” Here’s the thing: there's no evidence he did anything other than literally sleep with them. Cage is such a dork that he most likely stayed up all night chatting about everyone’s hopes and dreams rather than having rooftop group sex like any spy worth his salt.

  • John Rambo on Random Cinematic Alpha Males You Never Noticed Are Almost Certainly Virgins

    (#7) John Rambo

    • Rambo III, Meet the Spartans, First Blood, Cameraman: The Life and Work of Jack Cardiff, Rambo, Ultimate Fights, Rambo: First Blood Part II

    Can you even imagine Rambo having sex? By the time he returns from Vietnam to hitchhike his way across America, he’s so wracked with PTSD that he can barely even speak. The moment he feels remotely threatened his first thought is to go to war with an entire town. If he’d ever had sex in his life he would probably be a little more relaxed.

    As much as his dour demeanor likely comes from the horrors he’s seen in war, there’s no way that Rambo was a happy-go-lucky lady’s man before Vietnam.

  • J.R. MacReady on Random Cinematic Alpha Males You Never Noticed Are Almost Certainly Virgins

    (#11) J.R. MacReady

    • The Thing

    The hero of The Thing, played by Kurt Russell, is an ace helicopter pilot who can fly through any snow storm, drink whiskey like it’s water, and handle most alien invasions. Presumably MacReady could work anywhere, but he ended up in a research station exclusively populated by grizzled dudes and melting dog-Things.

    Either MacReady has such terrible people skills that his only option for work is to go to Antarctica, or he dislikes people so much that he chose to work in Antarctica. Either way, that’s proof that MacReady has never so much as held hands with a prospective lover.

  • Captain America on Random Cinematic Alpha Males You Never Noticed Are Almost Certainly Virgins

    (#1) Captain America

    • The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes, Ultimate Avengers, Captain America, Ultimate Avengers 2, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Captain America, Captain America: The First Avenger, The Avengers, Captain America II: Death Too Soon, Captain America, 3 Dev Adam, Marvel Universe

    Yes, Steve Rogers, AKA Captain America, is a babe, but he’s not exactly well-versed in the ways of wooing a sexual partner. He grew up as dweeb in an incredibly repressive culture, and he didn’t actually get hot until the government injected him with super soldier juice – so he didn’t get laid prior to the war.

    During World War II he was too busy killing Nazis to have sex with Agent Peggy Carter. Then he was frozen, and once he was thawed out he immediately started fighting aliens and punching Tony Stark, all while not having sex with Agent Sharon Carter. Virginity, thy name is Steve Rogers.

  • Blain Cooper on Random Cinematic Alpha Males You Never Noticed Are Almost Certainly Virgins

    (#10) Blain Cooper

    Predator is a movie made for men, by men. Big, oily, men. It’s likely that none of the characters in this film have ever had sex, especially since the moment they actually meet a real-life woman they relegate her to the background as they clean their guns and try to out muscle daddy each other.

    The most alpha of the daddies in Predator is Blain Cooper, played by Jesse Ventura, former WWF wrestler and governor of Minnesota. Cooper spends his time in the film spitting tobacco on his friends, spewing homophobic epithets, and caressing his gun. Not only is Cooper a special ops military guy who’s spent most of his life working for the government, leaving no time for a long-term relationship, but he’s just an absolute bore.

New Random Display    Display All By Rank

About This Tool

Alpha males, meaning “older” males who are comfortable in a group and have it all under control. Researchers recently found that for Alpha males, extra stress may be one of the main reasons for their short lives. On the other hand, scientists have also found that stress contributes to the evolution of the brain and that Alpha males’ success is in part due to stress.

This random tool collates 15 items and introduces you to the impressive Alpha male in the film. They often a simple character, like to boast about their heroic deeds, but in fact, shallow thinking, not too bad-hearted.

Our data comes from Ranker, If you want to participate in the ranking of items displayed on this page, please click here.

Copyright © 2023 BestRandoms.com All rights reserved.