Random Computer Repair Workers Share Their Weirdest Stories (15 items)

• (#1) They Found A Live Snake

  From Redditor /u/Helen_A_Handbasket:

  [In this] particular job, we received units for repair from all over the US, so we'd occasionally find things in them that obviously didn't come from our area. Found a [deceased] scorpion in one once, many live spiders, a... mummified lizard, and a live snake.

  It wasn't a very big one, only about a foot long since it had to fit through a missing slot cover in the back of the system. It probably just crawled in there looking for warmth, I'd suspect. I popped off the lid, and there it was, just curled up next to the power supply. I have no fear of snakes, so I just picked it up and took it outside to let it go. It did freak out several people on my way out of the building, though.
• (#2) She Had An Awkward Google Search Open

  From Redditor /u/meatwad75892:

  I was at an elementary school doing updates to a classroom's computers and got to the teacher's desk. Class was at lunch, and the teacher left her computer unlocked with a Google search page open.

  She [had] searched for "do watermelon seed gets you pregnent?"

  There. That's [who's] teaching your children.
• (#3) Her Computer Was A Literal Roach Nest

  From a former Redditor:

  Once... a woman lugged in an older Dell desktop. One of the optiplex models that sat flat [and] opened similar to the way a car hood opens. It wouldn't boot, she says. She is standing a full five feet from me, and the aroma coming off of her made me think she had bathed all the previous week in bear piss. I opened the case of the computer [and panicked] - there was barely a square inch inside that wasn't moving. It was full of cockroaches [and] had so many antennas stuck up in the air waving around looked like they were all at a rock concert - all that was missing was miniature lighters.

  I told her it would take a day or two for me to figure it out, so just be patient and I would call her as soon as I knew. I waited until her car left the lot [and] took the computer [and] made for the door. Roaches started swarming out on my shirt [and] my hands... the cover was partially cracked, and then... I dropped the damn thing. The corner hit the floor, effectively jarring a good percentage of the confused occupants out onto my floor, where they began to do as roaches do and scatter in every direction they could. I had a stomp fest. Then a "seal computer in plastic bag" party. Then I went to the store [and] bought [a bunch of] bug [spray, sprayed] the entire shop, [and] went home for the day.

  Days later, I informed her of the problem and that I wasn't going to touch the computer anymore but was pretty damn well certain it was done for. She bought another one, and two days later, she was back with it. It wouldn't power on. I cracked this one open... roaches. I went into the power supply... roaches.

  At some point during this fiasco, I apparently inadvertently touched my eye. I have contacts, so sometimes I have to readjust them. Within another week, I was in the emergency room with 38 STIES total on my eyelids. I had some deep in the eye sockets in my cheek. I took vicodin and enough antibiotics to change my genetic makeup. I sat for an entire afternoon with hot compresses on my eyes while the sties weeped yellow oozage. The doc said it was a severe bacterial infection - I recounted the cockroach story... he said that was the likely culprit. Now, if I smell roaches when they come in with the computer - they go right back out with it.
• (#4) He Forgot The Monitor

  From a former Redditor:

  A guy came in with a desktop computer and said that he couldn't get it to work. I put it on our counter and started hooking it up to the monitor to see what he was talking about. When he sees me doing this, he says, "Oh, I need a monitor!" I laughed a little, thinking he was trying to be funny. He was not trying to be funny.

  He thanked me, grabbed the computer, and left. I just stood around awkwardly while I processed what had just happened.
• (#5) He Started Dissecting A Foot

  From Redditor /u/GotSka81:

  I was once working for a hospital, and we got a call about a PC in the "gross room," which is pretty much what you would expect. The room is dedicated to dissecting and researching body parts and such that are removed from [cadavers] or during surgeries.

  I was working on the PC for several days and got to know the staff. At one point, the gentleman next to me asked, "Are you squeamish?" to which I replied, "Nope, do what you have to do," and he pulls a full human foot (up to the ankle) out of his bag and begins doing whatever it is that they do (involves chemicals, maybe preservation?). Pretty awesome.
• (#6) His Screensaver Cycled Through Graphic Images

  From Redditor /u/nebnodlew:

  I [managed] computer repair for a retailer a couple year ago. We had a client's computer in the back running various malware and virus scans. I was doing morning paperwork in the back near the computer. This PC had its screensaver on displaying random photos from the "My Pictures" folder - various family members, children's birthday parties, the usual stuff. Then, from the [corner] of my eye, I swear to God I saw a picture of a woman from the shoulders up with her throat cut.

  As soon as I realized what I was making out, I [gave it] my full attention, [but] it was back to photos of a car show. As they day went on, I though nothing of it and proceeded [to] work, until I was bringing another customer's PC to the back to work on, and again, [in] my peripheral [vision,] I could have sworn I saw a bloody [person]... bound in a trunk of a car. At that moment, I began to freak out.

  I grabbed one of my employees [and] explained the situation [to him]. We then sat for 10 minutes and watched this screensaver (it is against company policy to search through the client's personal files without absolute just cause). We then proceeded to see a photo [of] two bodies in a shallow grave out in the woods, and another photo of a severed hand down in kitchen drawer. I then went [to] the general manager, informed him of the situation, and had him view this screensaver. We then felt that [it] would be in everyone's best interest to contact law enforcement.

  [About] 15 minutes later, [the] owner of the computer and another gentleman show up, [and] I proceed to tell him that his computer is not ready and it will be a while. He then informs me that he was called there because someone reported there [were] some photographs of a grisly [slaying] that we had found. I showed him his computer, and then his partner... begins to laugh at him. Apparently, he went against police policy and took some of his work home with him. [He] had never noticed his work photos were being used as a screensaver.
• (#7) His Computer Was Filled With Flour

  From Redditor /u/rmulv12:

  I used to work at Staples in the Easy Tech department. One person came in with the work desktop PC for [his] bakery. Well, he brought it in for a basic clean up. When we opened the computer up, it was literally filled 3/4 of the way with flour. I do not know how the thing still worked, but it did.
• (#8) His Computer Was Stuffed With Food

  From Redditor /u/BushidoSamurai:

  The craziest thing I've experienced was probably this Nigerian guy [who] would come in from time to time [with] computer issues... The first time he came in, he told me his mouse wasn't working. It was a factory laser Gateway mouse that came with his computer. I plugged it up to our tech computer, wiggled it around, and got nothing. Looked at the laser on the bottom, and it was gunked up pretty bad.

  I asked him if he ate food around his computer. He said he didn't, but his children did... I told him I'll de-gunk it, and it should work. Well, I unscrewed the bottom of the mouse to open it up, and I kid you not, peanut butter had filled the entire inside of the mouse. Perfectly from edge to edge like someone took the mouse apart, filled the inside [with] peanut butter, smoothed the top off, and closed it. I confronted him saying, "Is this some kind of joke, sir?" and he insisted he didn't do [it], but his oldest son probably did (kid was maybe 10-12).

  I told him [to] NOT let his son anywhere near his computer, fearing he might do more damage. Well, about two weeks later, be brought in his desktop saying there was a CD stuck in the CD tray and it wouldn't open. I took out a paper clip and tried to open it [with] the little force open button, and it did nothing. So I went and go some tweezers and a flashlight to see if I could see the inside of the tray. [His] son had somehow shoved eight popsicle sticks into the CD tray and shattered the disc in there. Told him his CD burner was FUBAR'd and got another one off the shelf to install.

  I popped off the front of the computer to install the new CD burner, and I found about 10 more popsicle sticks, half a dozen fried shrimp, a pacifier, and what looked to be a [used] tissue [with] the goop of a spilled soda. I showed him all this and told him if he doesn't show his son some discipline, it's only going to get worse. Fortunately, his son was right there, and we showed him what he did. His dad chewed [him] out while he sat there [with] a "I give no f*cks!" look...

  I went by his house on another occasion to install some software, and his kid was still a brat. Would walk by me while I was peacefully working and would scream at the top of his lungs. I would scream back at him playfully, trying my best to not knock the kid out for about blowing out my eardrums... Wasn't surprised to see that the desk... and carpet [were] sticky [with] soda... and smelled like mildew.
• (#9) They Found Numerous Earwigs

  From a former Redditor:

  Was asked to try and get an old (10 years+) laptop working. When that failed, the lady asked me to smash it up in the garden. [Upon] doing this, a number of earwigs crawled out. Weirdest thing in a computer.
• (#10) The Laptop Was Classified As A Biohazard

  From Redditor /u/Finrod_Felagund_:

  Probably the worst... was a laptop we got from some really creepy, skinny dude. He reeked. The laptop reeked more. The laptop reeked so badly that my boss shouted at me from across the room as soon as the guy was gone to take care of it somewhere else. This wasn't just a biological reek, this was something rank and foul like I have never smelled in my life.

  I opened it up, and the keys were sticky. I disinfected my hands, sealed it in a bag, and we sent it to the manufacturer. Two weeks later, we got a letter telling us it had been discarded as a class something-or-other biohazard. We notified the guy via email and never saw him again, thank God.
• (#11) Her Computer Was Filled With Tobacco Residue

  From Redditor /u/where_is_the_cheese:

  There's this old lady that always came in and had a laundry list of stupid sh*t that needed "fixing." I put that in quotes because there usually wasn't anything wrong, she just didn't like the way it worked and thought it should obey her will.

  This [woman was] from Poland, and she was old-school hard. She... grew and smoked/chewed her own tobacco. Her teeth were black, her gums were black, and she smelled like she bathed in tobacco. She smoked so much, that the tar or residue from the tobacco built up in her computer and coated the entire inside of the case and its components. It was this dark brown goo. One of the most foul things I've ever seen. No one wanted to get stuck working on it because it was so gross.
• (#12) The Computer Had Some Furry Occupants

  From Redditor /u/thndrchld:

  I opened a computer one time to find a squirrel nest INSIDE THE COMPUTER.
• (#13) They Occasionally Received Computers Covered In Blood

  From Redditor /u/M374llic4:

  [Weirdest] thing I ever saw ON someone's computer? I used to worked for the Geek Squad at their national laptop repair facility. We got laptops that were busted up and covered in blood. Filled with salt water from dropping it in the ocean. Roaches inside of them, ants, spiders, chocolate.
• (#14) He Used The Floppy Drive As An Ashtray

  From Redditor /u/blackhawknl:

  One time, I worked at a computer shop where we had a workplace to repair, put together, and install computers. So this older gentleman walks in and hands me his computer, telling me that it made strange noises and it [wouldn't] boot anymore. As he was telling me the problems of his PC, I noticed a very strong smoker's smell, like I held my nose above three ashtrays. The man told me that his computer made aweful noises and that everytime he booted, his computer would make that noise a little louder.

  When this gentleman walks away, I put the computer in the storage room. Still having to deal with that aweful smell.

  Fast forward three days. Today, I got the chance to fix the smoker's computer. I booted it up to see what these "noises" were. When it wouldn't boot, I opened it up and immediately saw that almost the entire casing was filled with cigarettes. This guy used his Floppy drive as an ashtray, causing the fans to jam and the computer to overheat.

  When I confronted the man about this, he just replied: "But I don't smoke..." Turns out his son smoked, and he had used the computer as hidden ashtray so that his father wouldn't find out...
• (#15) He Was Really Into His Sister

  From Redditor /u/mephij:

  As a teenager, my mother would tell all her friends that her "computer genius" son could fix whatever computer problems were plaguing them (often for a pittance). One time, I'd been called over to a family friend's house to clean up some malware and whatnot. When I opened the web browser, the dropdown in the address bar taught me more than I cared to know about the 16-year-old kid that lived there.

  Myriad searches along the lines of "How to seduce your sister," "sleeping with your sister," etc. It should be noted that his sister was 13 at the time. I told my mother to have her friends call Geek Squad from then on - I was out of the family-friend tech-support business.

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