(#1) When Santa squeezes his fat white a** down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of a**holes this side of the nuthouse!
- Clark Griswold
(#2) Merry Christmas. Sh*tter was full!
- Cousin Eddie
(#3) Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?
- Clark Griswold
(#4) Surprised, Eddie?... If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now.
- Clark Griswold
(#5) Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no! We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f*cking Kaye.
- Clark Griswold
(#6) Hallelujah! Holy sh*t! Where's the Tylenol?
- Clark Griswold
(#7) Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my a**. Kiss his a**. Kiss your a**. Happy Hanukkah.
- Clark Griswold
(#8) Every time Catherine revved up the microwave, I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for about half an hour or so.
- Cousin Eddie
(#9) Bend over and I'll show you.
- Clark Griswold
(#10) Worse?! How could things get any worse? Take a look around you, Ellen! We're at the threshold of hell!!
- Clark Griswold
(#11) It is a bit nipply out. I mean nippy. What am I saying, nipple?
- Clark Griswold
(#12) Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn; the clean, cool chill of the holiday air; and an a**hosle in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer.
- Clark Griswold
(#13) And why is the carpet all wet, Todddddddd?
- Margo Chester
(#14) You couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.
- Uncle Lewis
(#15) Save the neck for me, Clark.
- Cousin Eddie
(#16) I don't know what to say, except it's Christmas and we're all in misery.
- Ellen Griswold
(#17) THE. BLESSSSSING.
- Uncle Lewis
(#18) Grace? She died 30 years ago!
- Aunt Bethany
(#19) She falls down a well, her eyes go cross. She gets kicked by a mule. They go back. I don't know.
- Cousin Eddie
(#20) If it isn't too much I'd like to get somethin' for you Clark, somethin'... real nice.
- Cousin Eddie
(#21) I don't know if I should go sailin' down no hill with nothing between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic.
- Cousin Eddie
(#22) Lotta sap in here! Mmmm... Looks great! Little full, lotta sap.
- Clark Griswold
(#23) I'm sorry. This is our family's first kidnapping.
- Ellen Griswold
(#24) Can't see the line, can you, Russ?
- Clark Griswold
(#25) Wouldn't be the holiday shopping season if the stores weren't hooter than they—hotter than they are.
- Clark Griswold
(#26) It's not going in our yard, Russ. It's going in our living room.
- Clark Griswold
(#27) Dad, you taught me everything I know about exterior illumination.
- Clark Griswold
(#28) Our father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. And forgive my husband, for he knows not what he does.
(#29) I love it here. You don't gotta put on your coat to go to the bathroom and your house is always parked in the same place.
- Ruby Sue
(#30) Oh, no, that there is an RV.
- Cousin Eddie
(#31) Oh, woo. Look at the time. I gotta get to bed. I still gotta brush my teeth, feed the hog, still got some homework to do, still got those bills to pay, wash the car...
- Rusty Griswold
(#32) Sorry, sh*ttin' rocks.
- Ruby Sue
(#33) You couldn't hear a dump truck driving though a nitroglycerin plant!
- Uncle Lewis
(#34) He read that squirrels were high in cholesterol.
- Catherine
(#35) Oh, he's just yakkin' on a bone.
- Cousin Eddie
(#36) You checked our sh*tters, honey?
- Clark Griswold
(#37) Catherine says he's been holding out for a management position.
- Ellen Griswold
(#38) Last season he was a pixie dust speaker on the Tilt-A-Whirl. He thinks that next year he'll be guessing people's weight or barkin’ for the yak lady.
- Cousin Eddie
(#39) I'm gonna catch it in the coat... and smack it with the hammer.
- Clark Griswold
(#40) If this gets dented then my hair just ain't gonna look right.
- Cousin Eddie
(#41) Is Rusty still in the Navy?
- Aunt Bethany
(#42) Hey Gris, you're not doing anything constructive. Run into the living room and get my stogey.
- Uncle Lewis
(#43) Let's burn some dust here. Eat my rubber.
- Clark Griswold
(#44) You ain't never seen a set on a dog like this ones got, Clark.
- Cousin Eddie
(#45) Is your house on fire, Clark?
- Aunt Bethany
(#46) The most enduring traditions of the season are best enjoyed in the warm embrace of kith and kin. Thith tree is a thymbol of the thspirit of the Grithwold family Chrithmath.
- Clark Griswold
(#47) Clark, I'd like to try to fumigate this here chair, it's a good quality item. If you don't mind my askin', how much did she set you back?
- Cousin Eddie
(#48) If only I had that money Catherine and I gave to that TV preacher who was screwin' that hockey player.
- Cousin Eddie
(#49) The little lights... they aren't twinkling.
- Art
(#50) It's a funny, squeaky sound.
- Aunt Bethany
New Random Displays Display All By Ranking
About This Tool
It's the best time to relive this movie National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. It's a family comedy film and there is a series of National Lampoon's Vacation films. The film portrays the child’s desire for Christmas gifts vividly and naturally, it is very relaxing and makes people laugh. Since its release, Christmas Vacation has often been labeled as a modern Christmas classic.
It's easy to find Christmas Vacation movies on the internet. This page has 60 items, there are the funniest lines from Christmas Vacation, welcome to check the interesting collection, and you will definitely want to watch this movie right away.
Our data comes from Ranker, If you want to participate in the ranking of items displayed on this page, please click here.