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  • (#1) The 'It Must Be Free' One

    From Redditor /u/Larry2Thumbs:

    "No price tag, so it's free today, right?"

  • (#2) The One About Printing Fake Bills

    From a Redditor:

    When I used to work on the tills of a large Swedish furniture store and I had to check a stack of notes (especially [$50 bills]), I'd pretty much always hear, "They're fine, I printed them myself this morning, hahaha."

    A polite smile would hide clenched teeth.

  • (#3) The One About Not Being Able To Find A Million Dollars

    From Redditor /u/Youcanthearjimmy:

    [Me:] Is there anything I can help you find?

    [Customer:] Yeah, a million dollars.

    I hated having to smile at every idiot that said this.

  • (#4) The One About Asking For Help

    From Redditor /u/01000011:

    [Me:] Would you like any help with packing?

    [Customer:] You can help with paying if you like!

    I normally respond with some variation of, "I wish; I can't even afford my own groceries hahahahahaha," just to make sure they realize what they just asked a minimum-wage retail worker.

  • (#5) The 'Working Hard Or Hardly Working' One

    From Redditor /u/gabbiblack:

    The “[Are you] working hard or hardly working?” joke...

    [I]t’s a guaranteed eye roll.

  • (#6) The One About Demanding A Winning Ticket

    From Redditor /u/kaisawheel:

    Working at a convenience store and selling a lotto ticket: "Make sure it's a winner!"

  • (#7) The One About Asking For Too Much Change

    From a Redditor:

    [Me:] How would you like your change back?

    [Customer:] Million-dollar bills would be nice...

    Shut up.

  • (#8) The 'That Was A Great Year' One

    From Redditor /u/tommo-thegirl:

    When you state the total and they say, “That was a great year.”

    At least this was the most annoying one in the little town I worked in.

  • (#9) The One About A Unique $2 Bill

    From Redditor /u/ArmyOfDog:

    “Betcha don’t see these very often!”

    Hands me a $2 bill.

  • (#10) The One About Not Wanting To Sign Up For Another Rewards Card

    From Redditor /u/Jedi_Knight19:

    Part of my job is to get customers to sign up for our store credit card during the 30 seconds I see them at checkout. The amount of times I've heard, "My husband/wife would kill me if I came home with another credit card," is really annoying.

    Just say "no." I don't need any details outside of that.

  • (#11) The One About Sports Rivalries

    From Redditor /u/desert-lightning:

    Customers who are overly passionate about merchandise, like sport paraphernalia, and try to start “playful” fights or get really picky about sh*t: "The cowboys are next to the STEELERS?"...

    I don’t give a f*ck about your preferences, dude. No one merchandises for your specific personal opinions on sport teams... I’m tired of all the over-explaining and repeated jokes they always say literally every day about the products.

  • (#12) The One About Not Wanting To Donate

    From Redditor /u/smellybootfeet:

    [Me:] Would you like to donate?

    [Customer:] Duh, no, I need [donations].

  • (#13) The One About Refusing To Show ID

    From Redditor /u/RadioactiveWalrus:

    [Me:] Can I see your ID, please?

    [Customer:] No, hahaha.

    [Me:] Okay (starting to put item back [on] the shelf).

    [Customer:] Wait, I was just kidding!

    You're not funny, you're wasting my time, and other customers' time, and I don't give a sh*t if you get your cheap vodka or not.

  • (#14) The One From The Guy Who Didn't Just Turn 21

    From Redditor /u/gaypurple:

    Selling cigarettes at my store: “Here’s my ID; I just turned 21”...

    YES SIR, YOU ARE VERY OBVIOUSLY IN YOUR LATE 60S. I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING AT THE JOKE, HAHA.

  • (#15) The One From The Tree Hugger

    From  Redditor /u/winnie_bago:

    When you offer them a bag and they say, "Save a plastic tree."

    I just smile and nod.

  • (#16) The One About The Credit Card They Just Found

    From Redditor /u/djwiggles75:

    I always hear, “Let’s see if this card works... just found it at (another retail store).”

  • (#17) The One About The Paper Clip

    From Redditor /u/RPShep:

    I used to work at an art store. We had a display near the front with giant paper clips. At least once a day, someone would pick one up and say, "Now that's a paperclip." It was almost always even with the exact same inflection.

    It wasn't even funny the first time. It was [torment] after working there a year.

  • (#18) The One About Pampered Pet Diets

    From Redditor /u/frostrz:

    I work in pet food retail, where the food typically costs about $60 to $100 per 30-pound bag.

    [Customer:] My dog eats better than I do!

    [Me]: Well, you could always trade.

    Usually shuts people up.

  • (#19) The One About Being Old

    From Redditor /u/goldminevelvet:

    When I ask for an ID, [the customer says], "Oh, I know I'm old," or some variation. I'm tired of it.

    Be lucky you're "old," because some people never reach the age that you are now. Plus, they have disposable money to spend on alcohol and their health that allows them to get out of their car and buy it...

    [I]t just annoys me. I usually just do a weak laugh or say, "At least you're still kicking."

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About This Tool

Almost all people who work in the retail industry suffer under the "jokes" of customers. Some absurd guests don't have the clearest concept of comedy or what employees like to hear at work. The most tiring thing for retail staff is often not busywork, bad products or high prices, but ridiculous jokes by customers that are wasting their time.

Sometimes customers may think they have a sense of humor. However, for busy retail workers, these jokes will be very speechless or even annoying. The random tool lists 19 jokes that retail workers do not want to hear at work anymore.

Our data comes from Ranker, If you want to participate in the ranking of items displayed on this page, please click here.

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