A Nymphoid Barbarian In Dinosaur Hell
[ranking: 3]
Everything about this movie is terrible, from the special effects to the hyper-sexualization of the "nymphoid" protagonist. The film is set in a radioactive post-apocalyptic wasteland where men have become deformed savages, and giant, mutated lizards rule the Earth.
While the giant monsters aren't exactly dinosaurs, the film's creators don't let semantics get in the way of their sick "dinosaur" movie. For some reason, living in a dinosaur hell makes people excessively horny. All throughout the film, the nymphoid heroine can barely resist being ravished by the local mutants, and it appears that feminism is an extinct concept in this depraved hellscape.
Super Mario Bros.
[ranking: 7]
Wait a minute, what are the Mario Bros. movie doing on a list about terrible dinosaur films? If you??re asking that question, then you obviously haven??t watched the videogame stars' feature film in a while.
The movie takes place in an alternate New York City where dinosaurs never became extinct. Rather than dying, they evolved into beings that looks remarkably similar to Dennis Hopper. The evil King Koopa rules over this city of dinosaur-human hybrids until Mario and Luigi, played by Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo, arrive to bust him up.
You may be thinking to yourself, ??huh??? or, ??what?"
Yes, that's the actual plot. It??s like someone decided to make a supercut of Super Mario, Blade Runner, and Scientology. The dystopian world, full of fungus and dance numbers, is something that must be seen to be believed.
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We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story
[ranking: 14]
John Goodman stars in this bizarre animated comedy where a friendly mad scientist and a tiny alien thing travel millions of years into the past to feed dinosaurs their patented breakfast cereal, "Brain Grain." As the name suggests, the cereal makes the dinosaurs hyper-intelligent, yet also mildly buffoonish.
The friendly scientist (played by Walter Cronkite) transports the dinosaurs to the year 1994, where children??s number one wish is to see terrifying, carnivorous monsters. What ensues are dance numbers, a childhood romance, and a dark carnival of souls that would make most Juggalos feel uncomfortable.
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Adventures In Dinosaur City
[ranking: 6]
Adventures In Dinosaur City follows Timmy, Jamie, and Mick, three best friends who have nothing in common except for their love of poorly animated cartoons about dinosaurs. Timmy's parents are mad scientists running inter-dimensional experiments in their basement, an all Hell breaks loose when Timmy invites his friends to watch TV in his parents' lab.
The trio end up getting sucked into the television and transported to the world of Dinosaur City, a place populated by anthropomorphic dinosaurs dressed inexplicably like greasers. Once there, they meet Rex, Tops, and Forry, three ancient lizards who help them take down the de facto dictator of the city, Mr. Big.
Dinosaur Island
[ranking: 4]
Caveman
[ranking: 8]
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