Random Most WTF Stories Janitors Described (19 items)

• (#12) Sex shop janitor mops up every bodily fluid imaginable from private viewing rooms

  "I used to work in a sex shop, the kind of place that has the booths in the back so you could go crank one out or get your peepee tugged by a stranger (mostly older, always sweaty men. Sometimes with a wig!) and live out your dark fantasies. Aside from the usual puddles of cum I'd have to mop up, I'd sometimes have to deal with a bit of sh*t because, as I said, a lot of the clients were older guys and probably couldn't handle the prostate-push when blowing a load. Thus, sh*tty cum messes. Sometimes a stranger would get a bit over-zealous and try to throat someone and barf up lunchy jizz splashes all over the place. There's not enough bleach in the world, folks."
• (#3) Rancid lunch box causes janitor to projectile vomit

  "One night we noticed an above average amount of flies congregating around a Dora the Explorer lunch bag hanging off a coat hanger in the hallway. It also kind of stinks, so I prod it with my broom, and a Ziploc bag full of brown sludge falls out and explodes on the floor. The putrid stench of whatever was in the bag hits me like a truck and I instantly projectile vomit on the floor. My friend who was also working with me as a janitor comes over and can't even come within 20 feet because it smells so bad. We shovel it into a snow shovel and dump it in the dumpster, but by then the smell has permeated the entire building. We had to open every window and basically mop the whole building with this powerful anti-odor stuff that we had. To this day, I have no idea what could have been in that bag, my hypothesis is that it was a porkchop sandwich that had liquefied and fermented over the course of several months."
• (#16) Hunting cabin cleaner sweeps up beer, sex toys, and animal guts

  "As a teenager I worked as a house keeper cleaning cabins in a popular hunting town. I used to have to clean up animal entrails/parts, shell casings, and lots of beer cans. The strangest things I've found though was a prosthetic leg, a duffle bag that contained a buck knife and a double headed dildo, and a dried deer leg."
• (#2) Summer campers take a group dump in attempt to prank custodians

  "I used to work custodial at a summer camp and it never failed that at least once every other week the kids decided it would be hilarious for all of them to take a collective sh*t. They would all go to one stall and sh*t one after the other without flushing. Eventually, there would reach a point where the water to sh*t ratio would flip and there would be more sh*t in the toilet that they would then leave for us at night to clean. The only thing more disgusting than the smell of sh*t on top of sh*t on top of sh*t is having to clean it up."
• (#18) High school janitor hunts down dick graffiti vandal

  "I was a janitor for four years; elementary, middle and high schools.
   
  We had two weeks of non-stop penises being drawn in black sharpie EVERYWHERE. The lockers, walls, floor, mirrors, library books, desks, windows, and even the ceiling had these sh*tty hastily drawn dicks scribbled on them. In a SINGLE day I counted 134 in one girls bathroom, we had six of them in this high school and they all were COVERED. Well, after filing complaints with the VP and principal, we now had the entire staff on the look out. Two weeks pass of this and finally the day of judgment came, the bandit was apprehended! It was this little cute freshmen girl; little, nerdy, and shy. We had theses plans of making her do all this clean up, trash work, cleaning up after football games - the works. Once my boss saw that it was this innocent looking wolf in sheep's clothing he backed down and just told her to not do it again and to just run along. So anticlimactic."
• (#13) High school janitor gathers girl's bathroom trash and tries to win a radio contest with it

  "In high school women's bathrooms there are small bins in the stalls for their feminine trash. A coworker of mine filled a bag with bloody trash and brought it to a local radio station for a contest. If you could make the host gag through smell, then you won a prize."

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