Random Dumbest Technology In Science Fiction (14 items)

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  (#3) A.I. Artificial Intelligence

  • Film

  Intended Use: This snarky search engine is meant to be like Google but with personality - and lots of it. Dr. Know (Robin Williams) is meant to answer the user's questions, and he does so... sometimes. 

  Actual Use: For whatever reason, scientists in the future love to make their artificial intelligence snarky and unmanageable. If someone truly had important questions to ask an A.I. hub like Dr. Know, they would probably not be as patient as David (Haley Joel Osment).

  Better Technology: Alexa might unexpectedly laugh every once in a while, but at least she can answer most questions someone presents her. 
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  (#13) I, Robot

  • Film

  Intended Use: After prominent robotics scientist Dr. Alfred Lanning mysteriously falls out of his window and perishes, Del Spooner (Will Smith), a Chicago police detective, investigates. He runs into a hologram of Lanning, who is unable to provide him with any information unless he "asks the right question."

  Actual Use: This piece of technology is already infuriating in its film use. Instead of simply telling Spooner what to do or where to go, the hologram makes him continuously guess what the heck is going on. 

  Better Technology: The hologram industry is taking off, and anyone can now see the likes of Buddy Holly or Tupac live and in the holo-flesh. And these holograms don't present infuriating riddles like Dr. Lanning - just ethical ones.
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  (#11) Back to the Future Part II

  • Film

  Intended Use: This smart jacket is designed to auto-dry whenever it gets wet. It also has some sort of advanced wiring technology that allows it to adjust perfectly to the size of the wearer. Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox) gets it from Doc Brown (Christopher Lloyd) when he visits the far out future of 2015.

  Actual Use: How heavy is this jacket? Doc Brown tells Marty that there are fans inside the jacket meant to help dry it. There also has to be a slew of heavy wires that contrast and extend all of the material in the jacket. 

  Better Technology: Smart clothes exist, and it is a growing industry. For example, Under Armour makes an Athlete Recovery Sleepwear that wicks heat away from the body and releases infrared light meant to help the user sleep better. It also aids in muscle recovery. Sounds a lot better than something that can be done by a tailor.
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  (#6) Johnny Mnemonic

  • Film

  Intended Use: It's the year 2021, and Johnny Mnemonic (Keanu Reeves) is a freelance data courier who holds sensitive information in his brain's cyberkinetic implant. 

  Actual Use: In order to store data in his brain, Johnny has to dump all his childhood memories to clear out enough space. So how much data can he store? A whopping 80 gigabytes, or about as much memory as a modern-day smartphone. Now Johnny does end up pushing that to 320 GB - which is about as much RAM as can be found in an upgraded Playstation 3. However, the movie claims this much data can destroy a courier's mind.

  Better Technology: Elon Musk has been developing his Neuralink for quite some time now. Initial plans are to have paralyzed people use the Neuralink to control computers and tablets. And if we discover a way to hack our brains, we may have the capacity to store roughly a petabyte of data. That would be enough data to store the internet in its entirety.
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  (#7) Pacific Rim

  • Film

  Intended Use: Designed to fight the Kaiju that emerge from another dimension, Jaegers require two co-pilots to connect their neural pathways. Together, the pilots must work together to coordinate the movements of these massive machines. 

  Actual Use: Three-legged races are annoying for a reason: moving perfectly in sync with someone is a challenge. Now imagine the stakes are not just losing to your co-workers, but letting a giant sea monster destroy an entire city. Even the most well-trained and calm co-pilots might have a split instance where they think differently, which would leave the Jaeger vulnerable to a mighty blow from a Kaiju. 

  Better Technology: According to Robin Murphy, a professor of computer science and engineering at Texas A&M University, humans have been making robots more advanced than Jaegers for quite some time. Most are smaller (think Tony Stark's Iron Man suit) and designed to help instead of be used in conflict. For example, Japan is using nurse robots to care for its aging population, and the Massachusetts police department is already making use of a four-legged robot named Spot. 
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  (#4) Total Recall

  • Film

  Intended Use: In the world of the Total Recall remake, a company called Rekall implants false memories into people's minds as a means of escape. When Doug Quaid (Colin Farrell) pays for a secret agent memory in the Rekall system, he discovers that he was already an agent of sorts - and mysterious people want to take him out. Doug uses his hand phone to make easy video and audio calls. 

  Actual Use: It feels a bit anachronistic for a 2084 bio-phone to still have a 10-digit keypad. Also, if the technology exists to implant phones underneath the skin, why not just do it close to the ear and make it hands-free?

  Better Technology: Microchip implants are on the rise, at least in Sweden. The implants are commercially available and allow access to social media, banking information, and a host of other information in a chip under the thumb skin. Also, our smartphones already have much more sophisticated cameras and video-calling capabilities than Total Recall, which for some reason still has interlaced video.

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