Random Weirdest Bits Of Victorian Etiquette You Won't Believe People Actually Observed (11 items)

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  (#9) Avoiding Inappropriate 'Kissing And Handling'

  During the Victorian era, gentlemanly behavior was more or less akin to mailroom etiquette. Single women, for example, "were never to indulge in behavior with a man [that] might lead to being 'kissed or handled in any way.'" This included strict inspection rules, like many of the stipulations that accompany shipping procedures: "If a man wanted to admire a necklace, the woman had to remove it and hand it over for inspection. Under no circumstances was the item to be inspected while she wore it."

  There was perhaps something of the old "don't touch a baby bird or its mother will reject it" ethos going on there as well.
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  (#5) Sleeping With Raw Meat Lashed To Your Face

  In the Victorian era, there was nothing like plastering a piece of flesh to your flesh, and hoping that its "youthful" essence would infiltrate your own. Apparently, wrinkles that resulted from harsh freckle-eliminating methods (like steeping one's skin in carbolic acid) could be counteracted by sleeping with raw steak on one's face, or by smearing "any animal fat on the skin — sheep’s fat, veal, lard."

  After all, a well-bred lady always aimed for a snow white complexion (tans were low-class and a sign that one labored outside like a common peasant), and if it took a sacrificial lamb to maintain said whiteness, so be it. Something to keep in mind (and on your face), before you shell out $50.00 for that anti-aging elixir.
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  (#1) Eating Cornflakes So You Aren't Tempted To Play With Yourself

  In the 19th century, cornflakes (not just any brand, but Kellogg's Corn Flakes, specifically) were a must-eat item when it came to curtailing libidinous energy. Indeed, it was John Harvey Kellogg himself who described his famously wholesome breakfast cereal as a "healthy, ready to eat anti-masturbatory morning meal," which meant that it was good form for any well-bred gentleman to be seen consuming it.

  The theory was that lascivious foods bred lascivious habits. What, exactly, is a "lascivious food," you might ask? Basically, anything spicy or excessively rich or flavorful (see: delicious), which meant that things like curry, heavy French sauces, and presumably Bloody Marys (had they been invented at that point) were out. Kellogg's advice to young girls, namely that they douse their clitorises with carbolic acid to "burn off" desire, was equally problematic.
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  (#2) Swallowing Tapeworm Larvae To Maintain A Fashionably Trim Figure

  Though voluptuous women with curves were generally celebrated in the Victorian era, the well-bred and fashion-conscious lady still made a modestly "respectable" effort to slim down. And what better way to do that than to let a giant tapeworm devour your fat from the inside out?

  This quote explaining the procedure ought to serve to remind us that inserting Lovecraftian monsters into one's system generally isn't the way to go:

  You take a pill containing a tapeworm egg. Once hatched, the parasite grows inside of the host, ingesting part of whatever the host eats. In theory, this enables the dieter to simultaneously lose weight and eat without worrying about calorie intake.

  That's not all: larvae also helped women to cultivate proper table manners, ostensibly because "a woman would never rise hungry from the table, yet she would continue losing weight." It really makes going to the gym seem not so bad after all. 
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  (#8) Wearing Nipple Shields

  Though breastfeeding was generally left to wet nurses back in the day (at least in upper-class households), the well-bred biological mother was also known to occasionally participate. But not without the discrete, and proper, aid of a nipple shield. Said device was customarily:

  Made from a variety of materials in the 18th and 19th centuries, wood, ivory and silver [being] the most common... the dangers of lead poisoning were well known when these were manufactured in the mid-19th century. They nonetheless came with the assurance that 'They are in no way likely to be injurious to the infant.'

  As a result, many infants ended up with lead poisoning, obviously. But nothing beats the whimsically bizarre phrasing of the following advertisement from 1892, which claims that said shields were "easy to wear, holding on like limpets. Sore nipples heal whilst reposing in the bath of milk secreted within the shields." "Reposing in a bath" sounds kind of like a luxurious Calgon come-on, but then again, what's not to love about mother's milk.
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  (#4) Using Sex Techniques To Avoid Having Ugly Kids

  Listless, passionless sex and loveless marriage weren't just inadvisable because they were bound to lead to emotional unhappiness. As the Daily Mail put it:

  Crucially, any union without true love... would bring forth ‘ill-looking, sour and spiritless offspring,' while those hoping for good-looking children should remember that sex must not be ‘faintly or drowsily performed.'

  Making love on the stairs was also a bad idea, as a child "that was begat upon a set of stair is most likely to be born with a crooked back, and given in no small way to the fault of staring." Moral of the story: if you want catalog-model kids who don't keep their eyes fixed on anyone for longer than five seconds, do it with vigor and élan.

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