Random Best Simpsons Epi-ma-sodes (85 items)

• 

  (#26) Flaming Moe's

  • Nov 21 1991

  Over the years Moe has really been turned into a rather boring caricature of his original self, but in the beginning, he was always good to go to for pure, unadulterated misanthropy. There are things about this ep that I don't love, but it's a classic for good reason. The cheers parody being one of them.

  Moe: Business is slow. People today are healthier and drinking less. You know, if it wasn't for the junior high school next door, no one would even use the cigarette machine.

  Marge: Well, Homer, maybe you can get some consolation in the fact that something you created is making so many people happy.
  Homer: Oh, look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the Magical Man from Happy-Land, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane! (slams the door, then put his head back round) Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic.
• 

  (#47) Duffless

  • Feb 18 1993

  Homer quits drinking.

  Judge: Your license is hereby revoked and you are to attend traffic school and two months of AA meetings.
  Homer: Your honor, I'd like that last remark stricken from the record.
  Judge: No.

  Lionel Hutz: Don't worry, Homer. I have a fool proof strategy to get you out of here: surprise witnesses, each more surprising than the last. I tell you, the judge won't know what hit him!

  Troy: Hi! I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such Driver's Ed films as "Alice's Adventures through the Windshield Glass" and "The Decapitation of Larry Leadfoot."
• 

  (#44) Marge on the Lam

  • Nov 04 1993

  Marge befriends a divorcee neighbor in this Thelma & Louise parody.

  Homer: Where are you going?
  Marge: I don't know.
  Homer: When will you be home?
  Marge: I'm not sure.
  Homer: Where are you going?
  Marge: You already asked me that!
  Homer: Will you bring me back something?

  Bart: You're absolutely right, Dad. We don't need a baby-sitter.
  Homer: Wait a minute (Takes out card reading: "Always do opposite of what Bart Says.") You kids do need a baby-sitter!
  Bart: (to himself) Blast that infernal card! (to Homer) Hey, Dad. Don't give me that card.
  Homer: Here ya go--(Pulls card away)--No!

  Marge: We can't trick these guys. They are highly trained professionals!
  (Ruth turns off the car lights.)
  Chief Wiggum: Oh my god, it just disappeared! (Gasp) It's a ghost car! (Slams on brakes) There are ghost cars all over these highways you know.
  Homer: Hold me!
  Chief Wiggum: Only if you hold me!
• 

  (#36) Lisa the Simpson

  • Mar 08 1998

  Lisa thinks she is doomed to be dumb.

  Guy: I'm sorry little girl, we just don't put people on TV, unless of course you're replying to an editorial.
  Lisa: Uh...I am! I'm strongly opposed to...proposition, ah, 3...0...5!
  Guy: You're against discount bus fares for war widows?
  Lisa: Uh, you bet I am!

  Homer: Marge, give me your address book, four beers, and my conversation hat.

  Television: Man has always loved his buildings, but what happens when the buildings say, "No more."
  (Images of buildings collapsing appear on the screen, Bart and Homer cheer)
  Homer: I didn't think it was gonna fall over.
  Bart: The best part was when the buildings fell down!
• 

  (#12) A Milhouse Divided

  • Dec 01 1996

  This episode introduced me to another one of my favorite characters, Kirk Van Houten... Milhouse's dad who gets divorced from Milhouse's mom in this one. Some of the visual gags are my all-time favorites: Kirk's hilarious bachelor apartment... the awesome, dated 70s reject, goodwill furniture and the name: Casa Nova: A Transitional Place For Singles.

  Kirk: Single life is great, Homer. I can do whatever I want. Today I drank a beer in the bathroom.
  Homer: The one down the hall?
  Kirk: Yeah! And another great thing, you get your own bed. I sleep in a racing car, do you?
  Homer: I sleep in a big bed with my wife.
  Kirk: Oh, yeah...

  And Kirk's beautiful, beautiful song he sings at the end to win his wife back (failing)

  Can I borrow a feeling?
  Could you lend me a jar of love?
  Hurtin' hearts need some healin'.
  Take my hand with your glove of love.
• 

  (#10) Cape Feare

  • Oct 07 1993

  Although I was never a huge fan of Sideshow Bob, I appreciate a lot of the kinds of humor he could bring.

  But this episode makes this list on two brilliant things all by itself.

  One)

  The Rake Gag

  Two)

  [Home is in an office with two FBI men letting him know about going to the federal witness protection program]
  FBI man 1: Tell you what, Mr. Simpson, from now on your name is Homer Thompson,at Terror Lake.Let's just practice a bit, hmmmm? So when I say hello Mr. Thompson, you say hi.
  Homer: Check!
  FBI man 1: Hello, Mr. Thompson.
  [Homer stares blankly]
  FBI man 1: [pause]
  FBI man 1: Now, remember, your name is Homer Thompson.
  Homer: I gotcha!
  FBI man 1: Hello, Mr. Thompson.
  [again Homer stares blankly]
  FBI man 1: [FBI men stare at each other]
  [hours pass by]
  FBI man 1: [frustrated] Argh... Now when I say "Hello Mr. Thompson" and press down on your foot, you smile and nod.
  Homer: No problem.
  [stepping hard on Homer's foot]
  FBI man 1: Hello, Mr. Thompson.
  [Homer stares blankly again for a few seconds]
  Homer: [whispering to the FBI man next to him] I think he's talking to you.

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