Random First Dates Isn't Romantic - It's About A Guy Who Takes Advantage Of A Disabled Woman (15 items)

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  (#6) Can Lucy Even Love Henry?

  Henry can love Lucy (in a deceptive, creepy way), but can Lucy love Henry? She meets him for the first time every day. Unless you're a love at first sight kind of person (and who's falling in love with Adam Sandler at first sight?), you're not gonna drop the L bomb the moment you meet someone. Even if they told you how great your life together is via VHS, the most you could really muster is a strong sense of like.  
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  (#10) Henry Is A Super Creepy Stalker

  Henry doggedly pursues Lucy like a possessed man. Well, more like obsessed. He's a few steps short of having a corkboard covered in pictures of her, garlanded with strings and thumb tacks. He orchestrates situations which cause her to collide with him, sometimes literally, faking car troubles, staging a road block, and even putting an innocent penguin in danger. He's so determined to follow Lucy's every move and force situations that appear serendipitous but are actually calculated that this alleged animal-loving vet puts a goddamn penguin in danger. Come on, Henry. Not cool. 
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  (#9) Lucy Will Continue To Age But Her Mind Won't

  Lucy's in her 20s when 50 First Dates begins. Time has passed by the end of the movie and she's given birth to a young girl. See, the thing is, time passes. That's just what it does, no matter how hard everyone tries to make it October 13, 2002, every single day. Lucy's going to get old. Like, really old. And she'll still have the mind of a young woman in her 20s. Imagine looking in the mirror every morning thinking you’re going to see adorable Drew Barrymore's face and being presented with a wrinkly visage.

  You'd be screaming, 'I'm, like, the crypt-keeper!' like Jamie Lee Curtis in Freaky Friday.  
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  (#12) What The Hell Is Actually Wrong With Lucy?

  Have you ever really thought about Lucy's affliction? Because if you have, it makes no f*cking sense. No one ever explains how long Lucy can remember things for and the basic set up of the film implies sleep erases her memory. This is horrible, because sleep is the greatest thing in the world, and Lucy and everyone who knows her must live with the knowledge that it will destroy their relationship every day. It's also totally moronic.

  Think about this: what if Lucy goes on a coke bender? She stays awake for five days. Does she not forget anything in that time? If she falls asleep for a few hours, it's all gone, voila, for no apparent reason? If she can't create any new memories, wouldn't she forget everything as soon as it happens, like a goldfish? 

  There are a few famous, actual cases of Lucy's affliction, anterograde amnesia. Henry Molaison "could not learn new words or remember things that had happened more than a few minutes earlier." Clive Wearing would wake up every 30 seconds as a result of his affliction, making it impossible for him to sleep properly. After 30 seconds of being awake, he forgot he had just woken up. Eugene Pauly's post-amnesia memory maxed out at learning three-word sentences. 
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  (#13) What If 50 First Dates 2 Is A Funny Games Crossover?

  Lucy marrying a man she can never truly know or love and having children she can never properly take care of is scary as hell, but what if that nightmare were compounded by home (or, in this case, boat house) invaders? If you've seen either the German or English language version of Funny Games, both from Michael Haneke, you know the score - the movie tells the (extremely disturbing) story of two sadistic young men who hold a family hostage in their own home and play violent mind games with them. 

  Funny Games is ultimately a commentary on entertainment and culture as corporate product, which makes it an interesting companion piece to a movie about being tricked into falling in love. But that's not the point. The point is, what if, somewhere in the multiverse, Henry and Lucy are victims of a Funny Games-type situation, and the sadistic home invaders get wind of Lucy's situation, rape her, murder Henry, then make a new video creating a false, polyamorous relationship between her and the men? They usurp Henry's place in Lucy's life and game her into servicing them until they tire of her and her daughter and murder them both. 

  That's f*cked up. 
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  (#4) Lucy Would Wake Up Every Day For 9 Months To Discover She's Pregnant After Henry Knocks Her Up

  Imagine you wake up, safe in the knowledge you're in shape, in your 20s, and with no responsibilities or dependents. Then you look down and realize you're pregnant. You've got a big old pregnant belly and no knowledge as to how you got this way, who did it to you, or how far along you are. Now imagine that happening every day for nine months. That's some body horror right there, and it happens to poor Lucy when she gets knocked up by Henry: she is trapped in a prison of the mind and body.  

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