Random Game Of Thrones Things You Should Never Ever Google Search (12 items)

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  (#8) Game Of Moans

  "Game Of Moans" is the name of the sex toy you never knew you needed. It's a sword with a hilt, a direwolf decoration, and a grey shaft. It's versatile, and will also give you something positive to think about whenever someone gets horribly killed on each episode of Game of Thrones.
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  (#1) The Mare That Mounts The World

  "The Stallion That Mounts The World" is a Dothraki myth about a man who will rule the world. In the books/show, Daenerys Targaryen's son was supposedly the Stallion – but in the fan fiction "The Mare That Mounts The World," the story is, uh, a little different. It imagines Daenerys getting intimate with an actual horse, due to a Dothraki ritual that requires the khaleesi mating with the khal's stallion. Spoiler: it doesn't end well for the horse.
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  (#11) Inside Jorah's Head

  There's a whole subreddit revolving around Jorah Mormont's unrequited feelings toward Daenerys Targaryen. "Inside Jorah's Head" features memes, image macros, and Photoshops about Jorah pining for Daenerys's attention, only to be forgotten for quite literally every other man on the show. If you read this, you will never take Jorah seriously ever again – especially because this version of the character refers to himself as "J. Bear."
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  (#3) Thramsay Fan Fic

  "Thramsay" refers to the coupling of Ramsay Bolton and Theon Greyjoy. If you're a Game of Thrones fan you can imagine why this would be in poor taste. But, naturally, there's a Tumblr revolving around the idea of their romantic and sexual relationship, complete with art. Slash fiction is nothing new, but there's something particularly troubling about portraying an abusive relationship as sweet.
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  (#5) A Song Of Lust And Desire

  "A Song Of Lust And Desire" is a fan fiction revolving around people gettin' down and dirty with White Walkers. In this case, the horrifying entities out to destroy the world have "lust in their icy blue eyes." Good luck not laughing outright when they next appear on the show.
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  (#4) Everyone Has A Summer

  A surprising number of people seem to ship Jon Snow and Arya Stark, despite the fact that they're related (how closely they're related is a question for the fans to debate). Hence, the existence of fan fictions like "Everyone Has a Summer," a story in which Jon and Arya touch each other's bathing suit areas. It's made especially creepy by the touches of familial affection scattered throughout:

  "The memory of her laughter, of her love, warmed him more than his furs on the way North."

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