Random Stories And Insider Facts About BDSM Dungeons And Sex Parties (13 items)

(#13) People Trust Each Other

The bondage scene is basically one big trust fall. If you're going to your first event and it's in the middle of nowhere or a secluded office building that looks like a location from 28 Days Later, you have to trust that your dom isn't going to put you in a steamer trunk. Unless that's what you're into.

Looking for a dom in this world is kind of like dating: You have to find someone you're comfortable with, especially if they're going to be playing. And remember, it's okay to say no.
(#9) For Many, These Clubs Represent A Place To Be Free From Social Constraints

One thing to keep in mind about the scene is most people who attend underground parties and hang out have jobs and lives where they can't go on and on about their leather corset collection. Raunchy nights or a trip to a club is a big deal to many people. Because of this, you'll see all kinds of costumes at an event - for a lot of attendees, it's their only opportunity to be who they see as their true self. Let the proverbial freak flag fly.

It's not uncommon to see someone wearing "nothing but a miniature cage padlocked to [their private areas]." And no one is there to judge, so before you laugh or stare or comment, think how it would make you feel if someone laughed at your closest held secret.
(#10) Learn The Rules Of The Scene (Because It's Not Just About Getting It On)

Different scenes have different rules. They're like restaurants in that way.

It's assumed that "no shoes, no shirts, no service" is a thing across the board, but depending on where you find yourself late on a Thursday night, you might want to ask if it's okay to get it on in a most rude manner. So says the rules of one particular club:

Play parties are not orgies: Sex isn't the main focus. But it does happen sometimes during scenes. This is either if the people playing are in a pre-established relationship that includes sex and decide to include it in a scene, or if they're playing casually, and doing a scene where some form of penetration has been pre-negotiated (usually pretty rare, but possible).
(#5) The Shower Is Probably For Extreme Play Only

Whether it's your 100th time hanging out at a secret warehouse party or your first trip into the world of BDSM, there are a few constants. First, many people wear giant boots. That's just a thing you've got to get over. Also, the large showers with a single drain in the center aren't usually for getting clean, but extreme play.

So what is extreme play? One type involves a common red bodily fluid. According to Kinkly:

Individuals who participate in blood play often find the sight, taste, texture, and smell of blood erotic and sensual. Some may also find the pain of extracting blood sexually stimulating.

The website has many caveats about this form of play, however:

[P]articipants should always remember that it can be very dangerous... A deep cut into a major blood vessel, for instance, can be very serious or even deadly. Less serious consequences include pain, infection and scarring.
(#11) Professionals Handle Their Duties With Clinical Detachment

Beyond the fun-time world of super-hot singles wearing PVC, there's an entire world of bondage that focuses on interior body preferences. Is that the right way to put it? A lot of people get excited from the things happening inside their bodies.

According to a Redditor discussing the New York City dungeon scene:

Different people specialized in different things; my specialty was... psychological, and piercings/needle work. Some other [preferences] include cupping and [other forms of play]. Google at your own peril. A lot of the fantasies I acted out were very specific to the person.

Obviously, if you're working on people at that level, you've got to be clean, so if you're looking for a way to write off surgical gloves and antiseptic, you may have found your calling.
(#6) Working In One Of These Clubs Is Just Like Working Anywhere Else

Except you get to physically engage your clients.

While visiting the Sanctuary in Los Angeles, a writer for LA Weekly noted:

Every few minutes, girls dressed in skimpy costumes click by on stripper heels. One carries a bag of McDonalds; another totes a laptop that she'll later use to check her Facebook page in between clients. So remember, when you do decide to check out your local [club], the folks working there are just trying to get through their shift.