Random Stupidest Ways Patients Have Tried To Treat Themselves (27 items)

• (#24) He Used Keyboard Cleaning Air As An Inhaler

  From madeinjapan89:

  "Nurse here. We had a younger patient who had run out of their inhaler and didn't want to tell their mom (after meeting her I could see why, she was just angry at the world) so he took keyboard cleaner Can-o-Air and tipped it upside down and inhaled.

  Turning it upside down releases the chemicals in an icy cold spray and it immediately caused this kid to go into a severe asthma attack and caused cold burns to the back of his throat. "
• (#7) You Can't 'Squeeze Out' Cancer

  From NarglesEverywhere;

  "A 60-year-old woman self diagnosed herself with leg cancer and decided to treat it herself by periodically 'squeezing the cancer out' of a centimeter wide hole in her leg.

  Yeah, that was a pretty stupid one."
• (#15) Kids, Cobra Venom Won't Save You

  From nursejacqueline:

  "I'm a triage RN. I had a patient call concerning back pain. I was going about my normal assessment and asked if he had taken anything for the pain, to which he replies 'Cobra Venom.'

  Turns out, he had read about Cobroxin, a topical treatment for pain made from cobra venom, and decided it would be more effective to simply let a cobra bite him. I have no idea how he got hold of a cobra."
• (#1) Drinking Bleach Will Probably Start, Not Stop, Food Poisoning

  From SaintAndi:

  "I used to work at a lab in a hospital in a rural town. I got a stool sample from the ER that was basically a blood clot the size of a golf ball. Sometimes the ER gets mixed up and sends me the wrong specimen, for example, some kind of body fluid and labeled it as urine. I called the patient's nurse and asked what the deal was with the patient and if it was really stool they sent up.

  The nurse I talked to said the patient thought he'd eaten bad pork and to prevent food poisoning, drank a concoction of bleach, rubbing alcohol, vodka, ibuprofen, and some Tums."
• (#27) Toothpaste And Rock Salt For A Burn

  From jojo5504:

  "I am an EMT who works in the ER. We once had a patient who spilled hot grease all over his arms after a small fryer accident. This happened to take place at the patient's in-laws who happened to be Chinese. Apparently there is an old wives tale in China that says to treat burns with a layer of toothpaste and rock salt. Not wanting to offend his in-laws he goes along with this do it yourself treatment.

  I think I spent about three hours that evening picking rock salt out of second degree burns and then cleaning out all of the, now dried, toothpaste."
• (#13) You Don't Ever Want To Do This With A Curling Iron

  From IntentionalMisnomer:

  "ER Tech here:

  A man came in with his wife because he had been bleeding from his bum. He thought that the best way was to self-anesthetize with alcohol, lubricate the area, and cauterize with a curling iron...

  He actually got it a fair way up before he pulled it out, judging by how much of his rectum turned into KFC. We had to remove about a foot of GI tract due to burnt, scarred tissue. The worst part was that didn't even stop the bleeding, which originated farther up the GI tract than the iron would ever reach.

  There is also the story about a champagne bottle popping off inside someone, but that's another story."

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