Random Terrifying Facts About Shoebill (10 items)

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  (#9) They Hide In Vegetation That’s Taller Than You

  Shoebills are notoriously picky about where they live, nesting only in extremely large, dense swampland. Essentially what that means is that these guys build their homes in an area you can only reach with a machete.

  Just imagine tromping through underbrush that reaches above your head only to accidentally stumble upon the nest or mating ground of one of these bad boys. It would not go well.
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  (#11) They Remained Undetected Until The 1850s

  Ancient Arabs and Egyptians had a reverence for the shoebill that made its way into the art of both cultures. Beyond those initial sightings, however, the bird remained uncatalogued by many Western societies until midway through the 19th century. 

  This speaks to the bird’s natural ability to avoid contact with humankind. A species of stork that had a natural range of more than 2 million square kilometers managed to avoid thousands of ornithologists combing the area for new species.
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  (#8) They Sh*t On Themselves To Keep Their Cool

  Anyone who’s had the bad fortune of catching a little bird excrement on their hair or body knows that it’s mostly liquid. The shoebill stork’s poo is no different. What’s frightening is that the stork actually uses its droppings to keep itself cool.

  Okay, so the blood pumping through a shoebill’s legs is warm. When the shoebill goes on itself, the warm blood underneath cools down. This results in a cooler stork. A cooler stork with sh*t on its legs and the piercing eyes of a demon.
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  (#4) They’re So Patient You Won’t Even Realize They’re Alive Until It’s Too Late

  Shoebill storks are masters of patience. They’ll sit in the water for hours on end, sometimes submerged up to their waists, as the creepy crawlies swim around them, poor things unaware of the grim fate that peers down at them from above.

  Then, suddenly, the shoebill will lunge forward, driving its razor-sharp bill into the silt, totally engulfing its victim (along with a bunch of dirt, water, and kelp). The shoebill clamps down, lifts its giant head, and starts swinging its bill back and forth, sifting out the stuff it doesn’t want to actually eat before dining.
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  (#7) When It Does Make Noise, It Sounds Like A Machine Gun

  When it’s time for the shoebill to get down with a member of the opposite sex, they track a potential mate to a specific spot and then make a resounding clapping noise with their bill, simultaneously attracting a mate and scaring the sh*t out of any small creatures in the vicinity.

  Once the kids get popped out, the parents only stick around long enough to make sure that one of their brood has the basics covered. At that point, Mom and Dad leave the chick to its own devices, taking off to parts unknown.
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  (#2) The Shoebill Does Something Awful To Its Prey

  That goofy-looking bill clapped onto the front of the shoebill’s face may look like a cruel joke of evolution, but it’s actually a lethal tool. Sure, it also looks like a shoe, a fact that has not been lost on any of the civilizations that have run across the beast. The Arabs called it Abu-Markhub, or “father of a slipper.” However, that bill is not to be trifled with.

  After taking its prey's body into its beak, the shoebill opens its bill just enough for its victim to poke its head out. Then, the shoebill clamps down again with its knife-edged beak and removes its prey's head before swallowing the rest.

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