Random Things About The CIA Once Tried To Train A Spy Cat (10 items)

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  (#10) The Government Is Still Trying To Turn Living Things Into Spy Cyborgs

  In 2006, the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) made an open call to scientists asking for "innovative proposals to develop technology to create insect-cyborgs." The truth of the matter was that drones, like the Nano Hummingbird and DelFly Micro, proved overwhelmingly less successful in design than actual flying insects.  According to Popular Science, the DARPA pamphlet read, "Proof-of-existence of small-scale flying machines ... is abundant in nature in the form of insects. It might be possible to transform [insects] into predictable devices that can be used for . . . missions requiring unobtrusive entry into areas inaccessible or hostile to humans."

  A fun idea in theory, putting cyborg insects into actual practice sounds awfully like the premise of a terrible sci-fi movie.
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  (#2) The CIA Poured $10 Million Into Training This Cat

  Most cat owners never put $10 into training a cat because even they know it's a losing battle. But the CIA, with millions of your taxes at their disposal, poured a whopping $10 million into this scheme. These costs went towards developing the equipment implanted in the cat, operations (vets aren't cheap), and training the little feline to cooperate. 
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  (#1) At First, The Idea Behind Project Acoustic Kitty Made Sense

  At the height of the Cold War, the CIA tried anything to keep tabs on Russians in Washington, D.C. One of their most absurd ideas was to use a cat to eavesdrop on the Kremlin's private conversations. Wired up with radio transmitters and microphones, the cat would listen to secret conversations from window sills, park benches, or any unsuspecting place for a cat. Perhaps the CIA thought that Russians, like Bond villains, spilled out all of their nefarious secrets to their feline friends. 
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  (#9) After Operation Acoustic Kitty Failed, The Government Turned Towards Drones

  Though Operation Acoustic Kitty flopped, the U.S. military continues to look towards nature for inspiration. Their attempts at creating micro-drones largely drew inspiration from hummingbirds and other tiny, fluttering creatures. Drones must be small enough to roll incognito, light enough to fly, and large enough to carry a camera and power source.

  According to Popular Science, the military came up with two solutions that proved to be okay (but not great): the Nano Hummingbird, a 6.5 inch drone that puttered out after 11 minutes of flight, and the DelFly Micro, which had a wingspan of less than four inches but could only fly for three minutes.
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  (#4) They Implanted Wires To Make The Cat More Attentive

  Cats lead most of their lives by instinct. During testing and training, the cat wandered off when it got hungry (everyone deserves a lunch break, even spy kitties). To combat this, they loaded the cat up with even more wires. How exactly further mechanizing the cat would make him more cooperative remains a question only the CIA can answer. Well actually, history can answer, because in the end this project failed.

  Marchetti told The Telegraph about the experiment process: "They tested him and tested him. They found he would walk off the job when he got hungry, so they put another wire in to override that."

  Quick! Tell the diet industry the CIA knows the secret to surpressing your appetite!
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  (#7) The CIA Abandoned The Project After The Cat's Death

  Cats care not about national security. While a need to please humans allows dogs to do everything from sniffing out bombs to recovering dead bodies in a disaster, cats can't even be bothered to stay in their own yard. Unfortunately, the CIA recognized this only after they wasted all that time training a cat who never planned on any of its nine lives being spent as a spy.

  The program's end was announced in a CIA memo that read, "Our final examination of trained cats ... convinced us that the program would not lend itself in a practical sense to our highly specialized needs."

  In other words, you simply can't train a cat.

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