Random Ways Jeb Bush's Life Is A Comically Embarrassing Human Tragedy (15 items)

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  (#1) Jeb's Supporters Were So Unenthusiastic, He Had To Ask Them To "Please Clap" After A Speech

  The most notorious sad Jeb moment came in February 2016 when he spoke in Vermont. He gave what he seemed to think was a rousing speech about protecting America, which ended with "I won’t be out here blow-harding, talking a big game without backing it up." The assertion was met with total silence. Jeb implored the audience, "Please clap." His tone of voice sounded completely defeated as he asked for the crowd's reassurance. The audience laughed uncomfortably before they finally complied with Bush's wishes and applauded him.
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  (#2) Barbara Told Jeb He Wasn't Her Favorite Child

  In a campaign video, which shows Barbara Bush and Jeb talking behind the scenes, Jeb's mom blatantly tells him he's not her favorite child. In the exchange, Jeb says "The best news of the day was that my mom finally said I was her favorite." Barbara responds, "Oh no I didn't. You mean of all of the children?" "Yeah," Bush says. "No," Barbara shoots back.
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  (#3) One Of The Most Googled Questions During The 2016 Election Was, "Is Jeb Bush Still Running?"

  Jeb's 2016 campaign was so unassuming and uneventful, many people couldn't even remember whether or not he was still in the race. On November 10, 2015, Google tweeted that the most-searched phrase related to Jeb Bush was, "Is Jeb Bush still running for president?" Along with other gems like, "Is Jeb Bush Republican?" and "Where is Jeb Bush today?," it became evident that Jeb was in for a long campaign of reminding his constituents that he was a force to be reckoned with—or at least a force to be remembered.
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  (#4) His Own Mother Publicly Said That He Shouldn't Run For President

  In yet another sad signifier of Jeb Bush's relationship to his parents, Barbara Bush displayed little enthusiasm for her son's campaign. In a 2014 interview with C-SPAN, Barbara Bush said that her son was very qualified to run for president, but that she hoped he wouldn't. She justified her statement by saying that other families besides the Kennedys, Clintons, and Bushes should be in office, but it must've been a blow for Jeb regardless. Mrs. Bush's assertion that the country "has had too many Bushes" just as her son announced his bid for the presidency began his campaign on a less-than-hopeful note.
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  (#5) Bush Was Classically Self-Deprecating, Noting That People's Expectations Of Him Were Extremely Low

  Jeb seemed to be remarkably self-aware during the campaign, referring numerous times to his status as the saddest candidate on the trail. When asked if he could be a surprise story on caucus night, Jeb replied, "Yes, as the expectations are so low." Even after he bowed out of the election, Jeb continued to take jabs at himself. In 2017, when asked if he thought Trump obstructed justice, Jeb said, "No, I don't, but who cares what I think?" He seemed to be utterly defeated by his plummeting popularity over the course of the election, but Jeb simply didn't know why he was so unpopular. When one publication asked Jeb to explain the slow decline, he said, "Hell if I know. I don't really care,"—the words of a broken man.
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  (#6) When He Lost The Election For Governor Of Florida He Asked His Mom How Long It Would Hurt

  Jeb seems to always come in second to his older brother, George W., but perhaps no other time was it more biting than the night he lost his bid for Florida governor the same evening George W. won his bid for governor of Texas in 1994. It was an extremely bittersweet night for Jeb, who claimed he was joyful that his brother won. However, Barbara Bush said in her diary that her younger son was reeling from the loss. She wrote that it "kills [her] that he hurts so," and that Jeb asked "how long it [was] going to hurt." Mrs. Bush called Jeb a "good sport" for his ability to put his sadness aside and be happy for his brother.
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  (#7) He Was Relentlessly Bullied By Donald Trump During The Campaign

  Jeb Bush just got contact lenses and got rid of the glasses. He wants to look cool, but it's far too late. 1% in Nevada!

  — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 17, 2016

  Some of the most memorable moments in Jeb's campaign came not from the presidential hopeful himself, but from his rival and eventual president, Donald Trump. Trump relentlessly bullied Jeb throughout the campaign; during one debate, for instance, Trump incessantly talked over Jeb while rolling his eyes and sarcastically calling him a "tough guy." The mocking was so bad that SNL made fun of the pair's dynamic.
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  (#8) His Father, George H.W. Bush, Introduced Jeb's Children To Ronald Reagan As "The Brown Ones"

  In 1974, Jeb married Columba Bush, a Mexican-American woman with whom he has three children. Their story seems like a fairy-tale: the couple met in Mexico while Bush was on a high school trip and have been married for nearly 50 years. In 1988, George H.W. Bush, former president and Jeb's father, introduced Jeb's children to then-president Ronald Reagan as "the little brown ones." Considering how much Jeb revered his father, it must have been a harsh blow.
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  (#9) Jeb Spent $2,800 Per Vote In Iowa, And He Still Lost

  Dang, Jeb. https://t.co/RGVSCgsJaL pic.twitter.com/6tJjkEZMZS

  — Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) February 2, 2016

  A Huff Po article uncovered that Jeb Bush spent more money than any other presidential candidate in the Iowa caucus; his PAC invested nearly $14.1 million dollars on ads in the state. His spending averaged a total of $2,800 per vote, which is 18 times more per vote than winner of the Iowa caucus, Ted Cruz, and 34 times more than Donald Trump.
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  (#10) JebBush.com Used To Redirect To Donald Trump's Website

  In another instance of Donald Trump possibly targeting Jeb, someone purchased JebBush.com and set the URL to redirect to Trump's site, DonaldJTrump.com. It is unclear which party purchased the domain name, however. Other site URLs that may throw off Jeb supporters are an anti-Bush initiative with the domain JebBushForPresident.net as well as the blog of a gay couple who own JebBushForPresident.com.
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  (#11) The Internet Couldn't Stop Making Fun Of Jeb(!)'s Campaign Logo

  Jeb Bush's campaign logo looks like the noise a Batman punch would make. pic.twitter.com/GnRB2jzCOX

  — Talmadge Garvin Blevins (@talign) June 14, 2015

  When Jeb Bush unveiled his campaign logo, the Internet had a few things to say. The logo features Jeb's first name in a bright red sans serif font followed by an exclamation point. One Twitter user said it looks like "the noise a Batman punch would make," while others said it could be the title for a new summer comedy or the brand name on a box of dog treats.
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  (#12) Jeb Told A Group Of Kids His Father's Disappointment Sent Him Into A Deep Depression

  Jeb on George HW: "All he would have to say is 'I'm disappointed in you' and it would send me into a deep spiraling depression for days"

  — Benjy Sarlin (@BenjySarlin) November 4, 2015

  When Bush conducted a Q&A with a group of young students at a New Hampshire school, he ended up revealing some dark truths about himself. He told the group that if George H.W. told Jeb he was disappointed, it would send him into "a deep, spiraling depression for days."
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  (#13) Jeb Admitted That His Mind Wanders During Debates

  Jeb told reporters that he's "not very disciplined" and admitted his mind wanders during debates. Poor Jeb was crucified in the debates by a belligerent Donald Trump, whose tactic appeared to be bullying other candidates on stage. No wonder Jeb didn't want to be fully present.
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  (#14) Jeb Always Came Second To His Older Brother, George W.

  It must have bruised Jeb's ego to constantly come in second to his older brother. Besides losing his campaign for governor the same night George W. won, Jeb seemed to have spent most of his life in his brother's shadow. In fact, in George H.W. Bush's biography, Jeb's father dismisses the idea that Jeb was the family's first pick due to his studious nature. Both father and son brushed off the rumors. George Sr. called the idea that the family always believed Jeb would carry on the presidential legacy "bullshit," while Jeb jokingly said that if he did happen to be the chosen one, no one bothered to tell him. "I didn't get the memo," he stated.
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  (#15) Bush And His Team Dealt With More Than A Few Online Blunders During His Campaign

  Happy Birthday, Governor @JebBush from your friends at @FloridaHouseDC! Retweet to wish him a very happy birthday! pic.twitter.com/GA6bDn8nKJ

  — Florida House (@FloridaHouseDC) February 11, 2015

  As unimpressive as he was in person, Jeb's online presence was equally as unfortunate. His most controversial tweet came in the form of a picture of a handgun with the simple caption "America." He also posted a video of himself pulling a zipped hoodie over his head, instead of simply unzipping it and putting in on the normal human way.

  Jeb was commonly a victim of Vic Berger's viral Vine creations, which show Jeb listing various Apple products, punching a child, and tapping an interviewer's shoe. Additionally, when the Twitter account for Florida House, Florida's "embassy" in Washington DC, posted a tweet on Jeb's birthday in 2015, which asked viewers to "retweet to wish [Jeb] a very happy birthday," it only received 12 retweets and 6 likes. Oof.

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