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(#2) It's Turbo Time
Jamie: I want the Turbo Man action figure with the arms and legs that move and the boomerang shooter and his rock'n roller jet pack and the realistic voice activator that says five different phrases including, "It's Turbo time!" Accessories sold separately; batteries not included.
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(#8) Clubhouse
Howard: I couldn't find the kid a doll. Now, does that make me a bad father? No. But yelling at him for no good reason. Now, that makes me a bad father.
Myron: Look, we get one chance a year to prove we're not screw-ups, and what do we do? We screw it up!
Howard: I remember a few years ago, I really wanted to do something special for Jamie. So, I built him his own clubhouse. It came out great. Oh , well the door was a little crooked, right? The roof didn't sit quite right. But you should have seen his face light up! Ah, when he saw that, he was so excited. We played in that clubhouse the entire day. He even made us have Christmas dinner in it.
Myron: No!
Howard: Oh, yeah. I was the hero then. Look at me now.
Myron: You're right. That kid's gonna need some serious therapy, man.
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(#3) Subliminal Messages
Myron: They sit there and use subliminal messages to suck your children's minds out! And I know what I'm talking about because I went to junior college for a semester and I studied psychology so I'm right in there, I know what's going on. And then they sit there and they make your children feel like garbage and you, the father, who's working twenty four, seven delivering mail so you can make an alimony payment to a woman that slept with everybody at the post office, but me! And then when you get the toy, it breaks and you can't fix it because it's little cheap plastic!
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(#1) Put That Cookie Down
Howard: Put that cookie down. NOW!
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(#14) Three Hundred
Mall Santa: Ah! That'll be three hundred.
Howard: Dollars?
Mall Santa: No, chocolate kisses; yes, dollars!
Howard: I can't believe this, whatever happened to your lofty ideas huh? I thought you're doing all this for the kids.
Mall Santa: Well sure, but I don't see why we can't pick up a little loose change in the process.
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(#11) Turbo Man Doll
Howard: I'm not a pervert! I just was looking for a Turbo Man doll!
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About This Tool
Jingle All The Way is a comedy directed by Brian Levante and released in 1996. The movie tells the story of Howard's family went through a series of accidents and finally spent a happy Christmas together. Howard Langston is a busy mattress salesperson, so he often overlooks his wife Liz and young son Jamie. He tried his best to get the last Christmas toy as a gift for his son and become a hero in his son's mind.
The movie is famous for its hilarious satirical plot and dialogue, which even becomes the favorite holiday movie for many families. Here the random tool lists 15 of the funniest quotes from Jingle All The Way you should know.
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