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(#9) People Change
From Redditor /u/razekery:
People change, you change. If you feel like it's not going to work then it's not going to work. Don't feel guilty to break up because your partner might have the same feelings but she/he is afraid to talk.
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(#8) Love Can't Fix Everything
From Redditor /u/sexrockandroll:
It's possible to love someone a lot and it's still a better idea to end the relationship. Love don't magically remove incompatibility.
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(#7) Don't Stay In A Relationship Just Because Leaving Might Be Hard
From Redditor /u/turtlecupcake:
Don't stay with someone just to keep them happy or because you're afraid they can't live without you. If they choose to put that burden on you, it's pure manipulation on their part.
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(#13) Just Wanting A Relationship Is A Bad Reason To Get Into One
From Redditor /u/ProfessorGigs:
Getting into a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship is the worst reason to be in a relationship.
Likewise, liking someone because they like you is the worst reason to like someone.
You want to date “a person,” not “their company.”
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(#4) Being 'Nice' And Being 'Kind' Are Two Different Things
From Redditor /u/Icicleinspring:
...nice does not always mean kind. My first boyfriend brought me flowers when he picked me up for dates. He even got my mom some on our second date. He cooked for me for our fourth date at his house. He called and said nice things. He was vulnerable and open. He was an Eagle Scout. My grandparents loved him. And then he sexually assaulted me.
My second boyfriend was rough around the edges, sarcastic, and didn't like most people he met. He was smart with a biting sense of humor and no patience for stupidity. He said "f*ck" a lot. He didn't believe in Jesus and didn't bring flowers. He read a lot and played video games and still lived with his parents. My mother was not overly impressed. You know what he did do?
He gave me rides to and from work. He had deep discussions with me about things we both cared about for hours. He shared books and movie recs with me. He was passionate about things and loved sharing that with me. He listened when I talked and wanted to know how I felt about things. He was patient with me even when I wouldn't tell him what was wrong. He treated me like I mattered. He told me that I was the best thing that ever happened to him. It broke his heart when I finally felt safe enough to tell him what had happened to me, and he always, always respected my boundaries. And then we got married.
The first guy was nice. The second one is kind.
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(#1) Love Is More Than Just The 'Fluffy' Things
From Redditor /u/msmarveles:
That love isn’t just about the fluffy things like kisses and hugs and pretty words. If you don’t feel understood, if you’re not willing to stick with each other through thick & thin, then it’s nothing but a hollow, superficial one.
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About This Tool
Breaking up is painful, but it can teach you a lot about relationships. Although it sounds tacky and clichéd, I will always be grateful for everything in relationships I have experienced. Love is always bittersweet. Some of us have experienced the passion and heartbreaking breakups in first serious relationships that are hard to express in words and learned more about love than secret crushes.
The first adult relationship may be full of ups and downs and end in conflicts. If you are unfortunate to face a breakup, you will find that you must show a strong side. The random tool shares 15 important lessons people learned from their first relationships.
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