Random People Who Married Inanimate Objects (16 items)

(#15) No Stone Left Unturned: Woman Marries Pet Rock

In 1976, secretary Jannene Swift married a 50 lb piece of granite. Guess it really rocked her world.
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(#5) Artist Tracey Emin Married a Rock/"Impressive Stone"

At her 2016 exhibition in Hong Kong, UK artist Tracey Emin announced that she had married a rock. Excuse us, an "impressive stone." In her own words:

"The whole thing with the stone is - it's a big stone, right. It's in my garden, it's very nice and very impressive and I like it a lot. The other thing about the stone is that it could be quite monstrous and scary. Instead I saw it as a protection thing as opposed to a fearful thing. The other thing with the stone is it's not going anywhere. Even if there's the biggest tsunami in the whole world, the stone will probably still stay there. Maybe it's not a person. But maybe it's an anchor for me, something I can identify with.

No matter how mad my life might be or what may happen that stone is stability and comfort."

To each their own!
(#14) Her Heart Is a Stereo: Woman Marries a Radio

A British woman who goes by the name "Emma," because she wishes to remain anonymous, says she is in love with a hi-fi system which she called Jake. Jake, she says, is "solid, reliable and beautiful". She repairs "him" when he goes wrong, and "makes love" to him on average twice a day.

"Emma" is a bit of a loner but says, "I would like to meet more people and to have friends," she says, "but I just think it is too difficult now. I am scared they will reject me.

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(#16) A Good Night's Rest: Man Marries a Pillow

A 28-year-old Korean man by the name of Lee Jin-gyu married a body pillow in a public, church-officiated ceremony.
The groom wore a tux and the pillow wore a picture of the face of popular anime vixen, Fate Testarossa.
He married a pillow.
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(#11) A Picture Perfect Marriage: Man Marries a Picture of Himself

It's always good to have self-confidence, and people really should learn to love themselves and all, but this man is taking it to an extreme. 39-year-old Chinese man Liu Ye married a life-sized cutout photo of himself wearing a red bridal gown. Ye said he was dissatisfied with reality so he married himself. That makes perfect sense.

The wedding took place in the square of Guanzhou Village before friends and weirded out local villagers. All of the ancient Chinese wedding traditions were honored including the bride kowtowing to heaven and earth, to ancestors and to the elderly aged 90 and over. Bride and groom made the traditional rounds of toasting guests during the banquet.

Remarked one guest, "It is a real grand wedding except that the bride is a photo." Oh, just that one little thing?

Self described as "an angry Chinese youth at best," Liu Ye denies he is gay but does admit to being "a little bit narcissistic." Just a little!?! Ye said, "marrying myself is a process of deconstructing and reconstructing myself. I make use of the wedding to reconsider opposite-sex marriage. My behavior seems ridiculous, but I am traditional and conservative in heart so the wedding ceremony is traditional."

Yeah, totally conservative and traditional... he's just crazy enough to fit in with the conservatives here in the States!
(#2) He Choo Choo Chooses It: Man Marries Steam Engine Train

Joachim A has a thing for the inner workings of technical objects, which is great since he works as a repair man... but not so great for his spouse, a steam locomotive.

"A love affair could very well begin with a broken radiator," Joachim says, "Repair jobs have often led to infidelity in the past." But they always seem to plow through it and stay together somehow.

He stresses that people like him (the people on this list) aren't just fetishists. "For some people, their car becomes a fetish which they use to put themselves in the limelight. For the objectum-sexual, on the other hand, the car itself – and nothing else – is the desired sexual partner, and all sexual fantasies and emotions are focused on it." Needless to say, this guy loves to fix things.

He realized he had a "thing" for things when he was 12. He's currently 45. He loves his train like he would a person, according to him: "you can reveal yourself to an object partner in an intimate way, in a way that you would never reveal yourself to any other person...[even] experience sexuality together."

[insert sex-train pun here]

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