Random The Sins Of Borgias (12 items)

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  (#1) Pope Callixtus III Was The Start Of It

  Amazingly, the Borgia who started the family’s amazing rise to power was actually a pretty decent guy. He certainly didn’t indulge in the sex and murder that would come to define his family. But when he was appointed pope as a compromise between two ruling families at the time, he made sure to set his own family up for the next generation. He was especially kind to his nephew Rodrigo Borgia who he put in charge of the papal army and made a cardinal. Despite doing some good things, people immediately resented his obvious nepotism. Even his friends called him “the scandal of [his] age.” The infamous Borgias were on their way. 
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  (#2) Rodrigo Borgia Was The Worst Of Them All

  Perhaps no one has ever been less deserving of becoming a cardinal in the Catholic church than Rodrigo. Despite vows of celibacy he had at least five children that we know about. When he wanted to become pope he greased all the necessary palms to make sure it happened, buying himself the position. As Pope Alexander VI he didn’t miss a beat. He ruthlessly suppressed anyone who disagreed with him - and there was a lot to disagree with. He lived an extravagant lifestyle, indulged in plenty of sex, and made sure to make huge amounts of money for him and his family. One of his servants said, “There is no longer any crime or shameful act that does not take place… in the home of the Pontiff.” And he raised his children to be just like him.
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  (#3) Pope Alexander VI Invented Indulgences

  When he actually got around to doing pope stuff, Alexander managed to mess that up too. In order to make money on the side he sold the position of cardinals to the highest bidder. But he also came up with a brand-new idea: the sale of indulgences.

  Indulgences worked like this: you committed some sins and didn’t have time to do the requisite Hail Mary’s or crusading that would normally be necessary to have your sin forgiven. So instead you just bought an indulgence and the slate was wiped clean. You could even purchase them for sins you would commit in the future.

  Indulgences were so messed up that they (along with many of Alexander’s other actions) prompted Martin Luther to nail his 95 Theses to a church door, therefore starting a whole new branch of Christianity. All because Pope Alexander wanted to get rich.
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  (#4) Lucrezia Got Married Three Times

  Women in powerful families didn’t have a lot of choice about who they married back then. The goal was always to become more powerful and richer through these alliances. That’s why Lucrezia was ripped from the convent she grew up in and married off at just 13-years-old. It would be the first of three marriages in her short 39 years on earth.

  Everyone wanted to marry this young girl and unite themselves with the pope. Everyone knew she was really his daughter. The first winner was a member of the equally powerful family of Cardinal Ascanio Sforza. Problems arose when they quickly found themselves on different sides in a war and the marriage was annulled four years later on trumped up charges of impotence.

  Marriage number two came just a year later, to the bastard son of the king of Naples. Her second husband died suddenly after just two years of marriage (more on that later).

  You’d think being just 20-years-old and with two marriages ending badly she would get some time off, but no; her family seemed determined to make her the female Henry VIII and married her off again. Her brother and father found the 24-year-old heir to the Duke of Ferrara to be a very politically advantageous alliance for them. This marriage managed to stick and Lucrezia got to live happily for the rest of her life.
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  (#5) Lucrezia Might Have Been A Sneaky Poisoner

  Having so many husbands and having the second one die suddenly gave Lucrezia a bad reputation. While in reality she might just have been a pawn in the games of her father and brother, to outsiders she became a man-eating murderess.

  Rumor had it that she was crazy for power, just as much if not more so than the men in her family. So when rivals became a problem she supposedly poisoned them. People said that she killed her second husband by poison as well.

  This is perhaps the allegation that followed the Borgias the most. In 1833, Victor Hugo wrote a play about Lucrezia in which she debates with herself how to kill her enemies. An opera based on the play included these rumors. And even artist Dante Gabriel Rossetti got in on the act, painting a picture that depicted Lucrezia washing her hands after poisoning her husband. True or not, she would go down in history as the biggest murderer in an already pretty murdery family.
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  (#6) Juan Was Probably Murdered By His Own Brother

  Being a member of the Borgia family was basically an occupational hazard and poor Juan found that out the hard way. Cesare was insanely jealous of his younger brother, and since he was pretty insane anyway that is not a position you wanted to be in. Juan had received the title Duke of Gandía even though in theory it should have gone to his older sibling. He had also been named commander of the papal army in 1496 and got to go off and be an important soldier fighting the rebellious nobles, the Orsini.

  All of this was possibly too much for Cesare to bear and rumor had it that when his brother was mysteriously murdered a year later he was the one who killed him. There is no hard evidence for this, but considering the kind of person Cesare was it made plenty of sense, then and now.
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  (#7) Cesare Also Murdered His Sister’s Second Husband

  Lucrezia’s second marriage seemed like a great idea at the time, but then the political winds changed. Suddenly her husband Alfonso was a liability, and her father decided he needed to be removed. He was attacked by a knife-wielding mob right on the steps of the Vatican, and was taken inside to convalesce.

  But that wouldn’t be the end. Rumors started flying about just who ordered the hit. One ambassador to Rome said, “In this palace there is so much hatred, old and new, so much envy and jealousy ... that scandal is inevitable.” A pamphlet was produced that claimed Cesare had visited his injured brother-in-law and whispered in his ear “What didn’t happen at lunch could still happen at dinner.” 

  A month later Alfonso was found in his bed, dead from strangulation. While rumors abounded that Lucrezia had poisoned her husband, the mode of death would seem to prove otherwise. But other rumors said it was Cesare himself, carrying out his father’s wishes and finishing what the previous attempt had failed at.
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  (#8) They Once Hosted The Naughtiest Party In The History Of The Papacy

  When you think about it, the pope could totally throw some awesome parties. He has the coolest locations and tons of money, but he’s probably stopped by the whole “head of the Catholic Church” thing. That didn’t mean a thing when Alexander was in charge, though.

  What would become the infamous Banquet of Chestnuts happened in 1501. Most of the Borgia family were there along with members of the nobility and the higher ups in the Catholic church. Then there were the 50 hottest prostitutes in Rome. The evening started with a huge feast, but then a bunch of chestnuts were thrown on the floor and the hookers tried to gather them up. At this point the night took a sexy turn, with guest copulating with the prostitutes. They even gave out prizes if you proved to be exceptionally virile. It would go down as the most depraved moment of a very depraved papacy. 
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  (#9) Cesare And Juan Were Both Bisexual

  The Borgias were famous for their crazy sex lives, but perhaps nothing would be more shocking for the time than the fact that brothers Cesare and Juan were bisexual. Their power meant they could sleep with whoever, and they took advantage of that fact. Shortly before his murder Juan was seen multiple times with a mysterious man, and may have been having a relationship with him. This man was also with Juan on the night he died, meaning he might have been betrayed by his own lover. 
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  (#10) Cesare Had The Fashionable New Disease, Syphilis

  Never one to be particularly holy, even when he was a cardinal, we know that Cesare got syphilis from a prostitute. We even know when and where. In 1497 he was 22 and on a mission from his pope father in Naples. A few years earlier the French military had stopped in the kingdom and had their fun, but left a brand-new disease behind. Between crowning the king of Naples and trying to get a royal fiance for his sister, Cesare visited some of the many brothels the place had to offer and at some point picked up the disease. These days it might not be as big of a deal but back then with no cure it was torture. His doctor recorded his symptoms, ranging from itching, to pain all over his body, to the oh so sexy sounding weeping pustules. The lay probably wasn’t worth it.
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  (#11) Half The Family Might Have Indulged In Inbreeding

  If there is one thing we can know for sure about the Borgias, it is that they liked boning. The reports of bisexuality, illegitimate children, and venereal diseases are too strong to be disbelieved. But just how far did they take it? Would this powerful family have decided that they wanted to have sex with each other?

  Accusations flew when Lucrezia’s first marriage was annulled. He might just have been peeved about having to claim impotence in order to end his marriage, but her ex-husband claimed that the marriage ended so Pope Alexander had “the freedom to enjoy himself with his own daughter.” She was also accused of sleeping with her brother Cesare. Of all the accusations against them, these might have been the worst.
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  (#12) Lucrezia Possibly Had An Illegitimate Child

  The inbreeding rumors were helped along when another rumor spread around Rome in 1498 that Lucrezia had a baby. Since this was between her two marriages, and her first one had supposedly never been consummated, people wondered who the father could be. There is a chance that the kid was really Pope Alexander’s and some anonymous Roman woman. But the pope would issue two bulls, one saying he was the father and other saying the child was Cesare’s. Since Lucrezia was assumed to be the mother, if true, this would make it inbreeding for sure.

  But why two different statements? And was the rumor true? There is another possibility that the young Lucrezia got pregnant with a random Spanish servant and her father was trying to cover that up. When you think inbreeding is better than getting knocked up by the help, you might need to reorient your priorities. 

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