What If The Avengers Actually Cared That A World Was Blown Up?
[ranking: 12]
Marvel Zombies: The Horror That Created Itself
[ranking: 8]
The phrase ??Marvel zombies?? once referred to die-hard fans, but it now refers to one of the most disturbing stories in Marvel history. The zombies themselves first appeared in Ultimate Fantastic Four #21, and between that and the subsequent Marvel Zombies mini-series, we see Spider-Man eat Mary Jane and Aunt May, Hank Pym slowly dissect Black Panther to enjoy eating him over the course of several years, dozens of heroes eating Galactus, stealing his power, then using it to consume all life in their universe. It was a veritable smorgasbord of death.
It all began when an alternate reality version of the Superman-clone Sentry turned up, infected by an unknown plague. In the follow-up series, Marvel Zombies Return, we learn the last remaining zombies of their universe, Earth-2149, infected the heroes of another universe, called Earth-Z.
The last remaining zombie of that world, the Sentry, was sent back in time into the dimension of Earth-2149, thus causing the very doom that created them. A multiversal necromancing ouroboros.
Thanos Has Loved Death For Thousands Of Years
[ranking: 7]
The most nihilistic thing in Marvel is the lover of Death. Thanos, the purple-skinned, craggy-chinned, big bad of the Marvel Universe, does not wish to rule the universe or get revenge or any other petty supervillain goal; he simply wants the woman of his dreams to love him, and he??s dreamed of Death since the day he was born.
The Thanos Rising mini-series revealed Death was his imaginary friend since childhood. He was so obsessed, he dissected living beings (including his mother) to find out more about how things died. As an adult, his friend Death said she would love him if he gave her gifts. He began by killing off every child he??d sired, and ultimately, by the now-famous Infinity Gauntlet storyline, he killed half of all the living creatures in the universe to prove his love to her.
The metaphysical embodiment of Death is a fickle mistress, however, as she??s often spurned his love. This drove Thanos to suicide, but she rejected him, ensuring he would never truly court Death.
Ruins: Everything You Loved About Marvel, Only More Depressing
[ranking: 3]
The world of Ruins #1-2 is best described with only three words: ??everything went wrong.?? Writer Warren Ellis created this dystopian parody of the 1994 classic Marvels mini-series to show just how bad things could be. In this world, Johnny Blaze didn??t make a deal with the devil, but his life was so bad that his final stunt involved lighting his own head on fire while biking off a ramp.
Bruce Banner mutated after exposure to gamma radiation, but his body continued to sprout tumors until it burst from the inside out.
All mutant powers come with terrible side effects, leading Mystique to uncontrollably twist into a Cronenbergian nightmare, Nightcrawler to eat his own tail, and Quicksilver to need amputation to stop the shaking. Galactus died in this book just because.
No reason. The main character, photographer Phil Sheldon, contracts a radioactive spider disease from Peter Parker and dies before learning why the world sucked so much.
No One Cares That Slapstick's Life Is A Living Hell
[ranking: 14]
Slapstick first appeared in his own self-titled goofy, light-hearted, parody comic. He was your average teenage class clown who was granted extra-dimensional gloves to become a living cartoon and fight evil, or at least nogoodniks. He was off to a good start, even getting his own ??rookie card?? in 1993! And then he was just forgotten about. At some point, behind the scenes, he lost his ability to become human again.
By the time he turned up in The Initiative, he??d gone fully insane. He almost beat his teacher to death in Avengers: The Initiative #5, but no one ever learned the truth, and scarier, no one cared. By the time Deadpool recruited him for Deadpool & the Mercs for Money, he was hiring prostitutes to dress up as girls he knew and randomly killing people. Now he has his own series again: think anyone will care now?
In the End, There Will Be Only Hulk
[ranking: 2]
The Hulk is the strongest one there is, but one day he??ll be the weakest one there is. In fact, he??ll be the only one there is. In the Marvel one-shot Hulk: The End, readers learn that when all life on the planet Earth is long dead, only the Hulk will remain, finally having achieved what he wanted all those years: to just be left alone.
You??re alone now Hulk, how do you like it? Sucks to be you.
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