Random Most WTF Stories Janitors Described (19 items)

• (#6) Vet janitor left to clean up possum carcass puked up by dog

  "Janitor at vet hospital. A dog came in on emergency with a distended stomach. After meds were given, he threw up half an opossum, in bits. I threw up for twenty minutes after helping mop up."
• (#3) Rancid lunch box causes janitor to projectile vomit

  "One night we noticed an above average amount of flies congregating around a Dora the Explorer lunch bag hanging off a coat hanger in the hallway. It also kind of stinks, so I prod it with my broom, and a Ziploc bag full of brown sludge falls out and explodes on the floor. The putrid stench of whatever was in the bag hits me like a truck and I instantly projectile vomit on the floor. My friend who was also working with me as a janitor comes over and can't even come within 20 feet because it smells so bad. We shovel it into a snow shovel and dump it in the dumpster, but by then the smell has permeated the entire building. We had to open every window and basically mop the whole building with this powerful anti-odor stuff that we had. To this day, I have no idea what could have been in that bag, my hypothesis is that it was a porkchop sandwich that had liquefied and fermented over the course of several months."
• (#17) Construction mill janitor keeps finding meth gear in the bathrooms

  "I am currently working as a janitor for a construction mill. My job is to essentially clean the bathrooms and clear the walk ways- the usual stuff. I'm cleaning the men's restroom over in the steel mill part of the site and for the past five weeks I've been finding meth pipes, full pieces of pipes along with the bag they come in and they are either sitting by the sink or someone tries to flush them and I have to fish it out."
• (#4) Loaf-of-bread-sized poop clogs park toilet

  "When I was a kid I did maintenance for the county park system. In a women's restroom at the home base park we started the day at, someone left a turd the length and almost width of a loaf of bread. It was bent and you could tell they tried their hardest to flush it. We called several guys over the radio to drive over and see this thing. Then we used a piece of wood to finally chop it up and flush it down for good.
   

  I've never seen a sh*t that big since, and I've always wondered how something like that could even be passed."
• (#12) Sex shop janitor mops up every bodily fluid imaginable from private viewing rooms

  "I used to work in a sex shop, the kind of place that has the booths in the back so you could go crank one out or get your peepee tugged by a stranger (mostly older, always sweaty men. Sometimes with a wig!) and live out your dark fantasies. Aside from the usual puddles of cum I'd have to mop up, I'd sometimes have to deal with a bit of sh*t because, as I said, a lot of the clients were older guys and probably couldn't handle the prostate-push when blowing a load. Thus, sh*tty cum messes. Sometimes a stranger would get a bit over-zealous and try to throat someone and barf up lunchy jizz splashes all over the place. There's not enough bleach in the world, folks."
• (#13) High school janitor gathers girl's bathroom trash and tries to win a radio contest with it

  "In high school women's bathrooms there are small bins in the stalls for their feminine trash. A coworker of mine filled a bag with bloody trash and brought it to a local radio station for a contest. If you could make the host gag through smell, then you won a prize."

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