Random Craziest Ironic Deaths (10 items)

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  (#3) Clement Vallandigham

  • US Congressperson

  Clement Vallandigham was a lawyer who represented a man charged with killing someone during a bar fight. Vallandigham’s approach was to convince the jury the dead man had shot himself as he drew his weapon from his pocket. As he faced the jury, Vallandigham recreated the situation exactly as it happened. And when I say exactly, I mean that he managed to also recreate the end result: a man shooting himself whilst drawing his pistol.

  Vallandigham died from his injuries, but did manage to acquit his client on the grounds that a man can accidentally shot himself whilst drawing a weapon from his pocket by showing the jury exactly how this was done.

  Lawyer. Of. The. Century.
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  (#10) Writer of Most Optimistic Song Commits Suicide

  Felix Powell was the force behind what was considered one of the most optimistic songs in history, "Pack Up Your Troubles in Your Old Kit Bag and Smile, Smile, Smile." The song was known to have gotten thousands of soldiers throughout the horrors of World War I. 

  A song with a mass effect like that could easily garner great royalties, but Powell carried greater inner-burdens. He committed suicide while wearing his duty uniform, possibly too haunted by the war too see what was so upbeat about the song that got so many others through it.
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  (#9) John Sedgwick

  • Military Person

  John Sedgwick was a major general for the Union Army in the Civil War who played key roles in famed battles like the Battle of Antietam and the Battle of Gettysburg. By the time of his death, he was the most senior major general in the Army and worthy of great respect.

  So at the Battle of Spotsylvania Court House, he stood proud at the front line directing the placement of the Union artillery. The Confederates were advancing, however, from 1,000 yards away causing his subordinates to dodge and run around, hesitant at standing in the open.

  Incensed, Sedgwick declared he was ashamed of his men, that the enemy was too far to cause damage, and that "they couldn’t hit an elephant at this distance." Seconds later, he died after being struck by an enemy bullet below his left eye. Guess he was wrong.
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  (#7) Owner of the Segway Company Dies in a Segway Accident

  Jimi Heselden was the owner of the Segway company and an avid user of the two-wheeled motorized scooters the company produces. A multi-millionaire, he owned an estate in the countryside of England, and there would ride the rugged country version of the Segway. That particular contraption contained such luxuries as a mudguard and extra wide tires with deep treads for going off the road, 'cause there's nothing like off-roading on a scooter.

  But one day, while going "off-roading" on the rugged Segway, he literally went off the road and drove off a 80 foot cliff down to his death.

  Click here for a picture of the fall he suffered.
  Click here for the full story.
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  (#5) Man Drowns in Pool During a Life Guard Association Party

  In 1985, the New Orleans lifeguards threw a big party to celebrate the fact that no one had drowned in any pool during the summer season (no, really). A clean, no-drowning record! A GREAT reason to celebrate!

  "Hey Mark, guess what?"
  "What, Kyle?"
  "You're never gonna - okay. Get this. No blood on our hands this summer."
  "What? Are you kidding me? We NEED to have a party"

  But when all the excessive celebrations were over, Jerome Moody was found drowned at the deep end of the department pool. Mr. Moody was not a lifeguard, but he was at a party where 4 lifeguards were on duty and another 200 off-duty lifeguards were in attendance, celebrating that an entire summer with no deaths...

  Click here for the full story.
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  (#4) Mel Ignatow

  • Person

  Mel Ignatow was tried and convicted for the murder of Brenda Sue Schafer in 1988 based on evidential photos that showed the woman being brutalized by an unidentified male. The moles on Ignatow's body provided a match to the man in the picture and became concrete evidence that he killed this woman.

  He brutally beat her to death while he bound her to a GLASS coffee table, bludgeoning her body until it was lifeless on that glass coffee table. However, Ignatow got away with only ten years because of perjury and double jeopardy, whereas he would have served a life sentence otherwise.

  Several years later, in a freak accident, he tripped and fell in his apartment... onto a glass coffee table. The coffee table's glass cut and maimed him so bad, that he lost too much blood for authorities to do anything about his situation. As he succumbed to the fatal cuts on his head and arms, his final thoughts must have been dominated by the fact that what killed him also killed his victim. The irony is, most likely, what killed him.

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