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(#1) He Told A Woman He'd Rather Die Than Be Her Spouse
Clever as he was, Winston Churchill didn't mind borrowing a good quip, if the need arose. In fact, when a political woman (that many believe was former Parliament member Nancy Astor) insulted him, Churchill used an older joke to burn her right back. The woman, angry that she couldn't outtalk the prime minister, allegedly said, “Oh, if you were my husband, I’d put poison in your tea."
Not one to be outdone, Churchill supposedly rejoined, "Madame, if I were [your husband], I’d drink it with pleasure.”
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(#2) He Prioritized Taking A Poo Over Receiving A Call From A UK Official
No one likes to be disturbed while relieving himself or herself in the bathroom. Even Prime Minister Winston Churchill objected to such intrusions. While he was occupied in this manner, Churchill received a call from the Lord Privy seal.
The prime minister instructed his attendant to, “Tell him I can only deal with one sh*t at a time.”
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(#3) He Doubted That George Bernard Shaw Would Have A Successful Play
George Bernard Shaw, the noted playwright behind classics like Pygmalion, once invited Winston Churchill out to see one of his theatrical works. Shaw sent tickets with a note that read, "Have two tickets for opening night. Bring a friend, if you have one."
Churchill was never one to let a jibe stand unanswered. He reportedly replied to Shaw, "Impossible to come to first night. Will come to second night, if you have one."
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(#4) He Called A Politician Ugly When She Criticized His Drinking
Many people knew that Winston Churchill liked a good drink. His constituents didn't always appreciate Churchill's tastes, however. On one occasion, British Labor Party politician Bessie Braddock could not hold back a criticism of his drinking habits. She stated, “Winston, you are drunk, and what’s more, you are disgustingly drunk.”
Churchill replied, "My dear, you are ugly, and what’s more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly."
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(#5) He Had Nothing To Hide When FDR Walked In And Found Him Naked
Winston Churchill sometimes shocked people with his informality. He even startled President Franklin D. Roosevelt a time or two. FDR stopped by Churchill's room while the prime minister was visiting the White House. Churchill was completely naked, however, giving dictation while having a bath. President Roosevelt wanted to leave and avoid any awkwardness, but Churchill quipped, "You see, Mr. President, I have nothing to hide from you."
The president's secretary, Grace Tully, later found FDR laughing about the sight of the prime minister "pink and white all over."
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(#6) He Suggested That Even God Couldn't Handle His Personality
Winston Churchill was no stranger to contentious times, and while he served the Crown, his ego grew to match his enormous workload. Churchill did not shy away from the larger-than-life persona he was known for, either. In fact, he seemed quite proud of his big personality.
A reporter once asked the prime minister if he was afraid of death. Churchill responded, "I am ready to meet my maker. Whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter."
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(#7) He Called Another Prime Minister A Sheep In Sheep's Clothing
Winston Churchill had little respect for his rival, Prime Minister Clement Attlee. The two men were often thrown together in order to find solutions for the war, though, so contact was unavoidable. Churchill referred to Attlee as "a sheep in sheep's clothing" and "a modest man with much to be modest about."
Churchill even devoted a rather harsh one-liner to his rival, remarking, "An empty taxi arrived at 10 Downing Street, and when the door was opened, Attlee got out."
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(#8) He Declared That Charles De Gaulle Ought To Be Burned Like Joan Of Arc
Winston Churchill did not have much love for French General Charles de Gaulle. The two leaders frequently had clashing opinions. Churchill once spoke of de Gaulle, saying, "He thinks he's Joan of Arc, but I can't get my bloody bishops to burn him."
The French leader managed to get in his own jibe, stating, "When I am right, I get angry. Churchill gets angry when he is wrong. We are angry at each other much of the time."
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(#9) He Said That A Politician Was Revolting And Boneless
Winston Churchill had a low opinion of Labour Party politician Ramsay MacDonald. While debating a bill, Churchill said of MacDonald:
"I remember, when I was a child, being taken to the celebrated Barnum's circus, which contained an exhibition of freaks and monstrosities. But the exhibit on the program which I most desired to see was the one described as 'The Boneless Wonder.' My parents judged that that spectacle would be too revolting and democratizing for my youthful eyes... I have waited 50 years to see the boneless wonder sitting on the Treasury Bench."
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(#10) He Wished A Former Prime Minister Had Never Been Born
Winston Churchill wasn't always on good terms with other political figures. He seemed to especially dislike other prime ministers. At one point, he declined to send a birthday card to former Prime Minister Stanley Baldwin.
When asked why he refused, Churchill said, "I wish Stanley Baldwin no ill, but it would have been much better if he had never lived."
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About This Tool
Winston Churchill has many identities, including politician, writer, military leader, and speaker. When the Second World War broke out, he served as the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. His speech skills united the United Kingdom in this terrible historical period. His many sharp speeches also helped the Allied forces win victory. His personality and temperament made him admired and respected wherever he was, and his words inspire people's courage and unity.
At that time, his profound quotes also challenged the traditional thinking of British society and the world. His witty, satirical remarks and sense of humor made him a legend. The random tool described 10 of the sharpest opinions from Winston Churchill.
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