Random Restaurant Staff Describe the Worst Customer They've Ever Served (18 items)

• (#4) Unsatisfied Customer Lectures Server and Manager

  "Two older couples came in. For the sake of clarity, I will call the two women Nice Wife and B*tch Wife.

  "I knew the table was going to be difficult when B*tch Wife presented me with a handful of coupons. I explained that I could only take one coupon per ticket, as was printed on the coupons themselves. B*tch Wife threw two coupons at me and said, 'Split our checks, then.' She told Nice Wife they could just pay two separate checks. Whatever, people do that all the time.

  "B*tch Wife proceeded to drink Dewars on the rocks until she was extremely intoxicated. When she ordered her steak, she asked me to have it cooked 'blue.' She flipped out when I told her we didn't do blue steaks, so she instead ordered a very rare steak. Her husband ordered salmon. I was given very specific instructions on how to cook both entrees. Nice Husband and Nice Wife look mortified.

  "B*tch Wife gets her food and promptly flips out because it's not 'blue,' even though she was totally clear on the fact that we didn't do that at the restaurant. My manager, an experienced chef, goes out of his way to make the woman a damn blue steak and serves it to her himself. It is the third steak we have cooked for her. B*tch Wife lectures me for 10 minutes (I am not exaggerating) on what a terrible server I am, how the restaurant is a piece of sh*t, etc. She eats all of her steak and half of her husband's salmon and complains that their food was inedible. She demands that their entrees be taken off their bill.

  "I am fuming at this point, but the manager still comps their meals. I take the check to the table for Nice Wife and Nice Husband to pay. I am lectured again about what terrible service I offered. After another 10 minutes of being scolded, I calmly told her that I understood she was upset, but that I didn't prepare her food and had served her exactly what she ordered. B*tch Wife demands to see the manager who cooked her food. She also lectured him, saying that she is a professional chef and is appalled at our inability to prepare a blue steak. The manager offers her a job at the restaurant since we obviously don't know what I'm doing. B*tch Wife flies off the handle and storms out. Her husband followed meekly in her wake.

  "Nice Wife and Nice Husband left me an immense tip. They were so embarrassed by their friend's behavior that they could barely look me in the eye. They leave, and I start cleaning their table. Nice Wife comes back, presses an additional $20 into my hand, and whispers, 'I'm so sorry about the way she acted. If I'd known she would be that way, I would have just fed her at my home, but she's a chef and I don't know how to cook.' She gives me a hug and leaves.

  "A few weeks later, Bitch Wife came back and got super drunk on Dewars on the rocks again. She ended up standing on her tiptoes screaming into the manager's face in the middle of a packed dining room because there wasn't cottage cheese on the salad bar.

  "She was banned from the restaurant."
• (#9) Waitress Takes a Sandwich to Her Face

  "My girlfriend and I worked at the same restaurant in Savannah, GA, while in college. St. Patrick's day is huge here - about 750,000 people come every year and get very, very drunk.

  "One year, an intoxicated customer 'didn't like his Reuben,' and proceeded to grab his waitress (my girlfriend) and literally rub it in her face. A bartender, a bouncer, and I literally tossed him out the front door."
• (#7) Bagel Lady Demands Premium Service

  "I worked at a soup and sandwich cafe for three years while I was in undergrad. Good job, easy money. Anyway, we offered quick breakfast options: bagels with cream cheese, breakfast sandwiches, burritos, and a quick two-egg breakfast with toast, hash browns, or grits. We offered a $1 small cup of coffee because Starbucks was two blocks down, and my manager was like that. We broke even on the coffee, not really hoping to profit. Just trying to get people in the door and serve quick, good food. That kind of place.

  "A super yoga soccer mom started coming in every morning to buy a coffee. She would bring in her own bagel and her own cream cheese. She would purchase the coffee, and then ask us to toast her bagel and put her cream cheese on it for her and expect us to run the food out to her like we did for every other paying customer. While she was purchasing her coffee, she would ask that we put on new gloves while preparing her food. Okay, fine. Not a big deal the first few times because the owner (a working manager) was trying to keep his customers happy all of the time. However, this budding new cafe was starting to increase in business exponentially. This 'Bagel Lady' started coming in every single day. The boss grew a little tired of her request because after all, he isn't seeing the benefit of selling her a $1 cup of coffee and having us prepare her food for her. She didn't tip either. However, because my boss always lived by 'the customer is always right' method, he did this.

  "She came in on a Saturday morning once. Thinking she got special treatment because she was a regular customer, she decided she would skip the line and put her bagel on the counter near the register. She waited in line, purchased her $1 coffee, and noticed her bagel was right where she left it, untouched.

  "'Excuse me, I expected this to be toasted and ready when I purchased my coffee. I come in all of the time, you should know me by now. I am one of your most frequent customers.'

  "'Yes, ma'am, I apologize. I did not see it. Here is your coffee, and I will bring it out to you in a moment.'

  "'I just don't understand you people sometimes, so incompetent and rude to your customers. This is the kind of behavior that leads to disease and sickness in restaurants.'

  "I didn't realize my boss was standing over my shoulder during this encounter. He sort of pushes me out of the way, grabs her bagel (un-gloved hands), takes a bite, goes to hand it to her, drops it, and asks her to leave with a mouthful of bagel. He goes to his office and closes his door still chewing the bagel. He comes out and says, 'Coffee is now $2.'"

  Problem solved."
• (#13) Couple Tries to Scam Buffet

  "While I worked in an all-you-can-eat restaurant, we frequently got customers who would eat three or four plates of food, then go and fill up another five, leave them all full on the table, and claim the food was all disgusting and refuse to pay.

  "There was one time in particular when a couple tried to do this. The managers got involved and were refusing to let the customers leave while they called the police. The woman of the couple tried to push past one of my managers, and he took hold of her arm to stop her leaving. Cue shouts of assault and harassment, and male partner suddenly going ape-sh*t shouting, "Don't you f*cking touch my woman!" etc.

  "Luckily, there was a full restaurant of people who were watching the show, so they couldn't get away with it."
• (#2) Crazy Woman Performs a Baptism

  "I waited on this woman who carried a Bible around with her everywhere and was a general psychopath. She would pee in the booths after drinking literally 15 cups of coffee, scream at waitresses, scream at her reflection in the mirror, scream at the plants - you name it. Everyone would fight over who got stuck waiting on her, and one day, I drew the the short straw and waited on her.

  "I took her order and went to put it in the kitchen. I was getting mocking laughs from co-workers. I said something to the effect of, 'Good Lord, tell me about it.' She overheard this and yelled at me saying that the Lord would not save me. Then, she dumped a pitcher of water over my head and told me I was baptized. I go into the bathroom to ring out my hair, and she follows me in, looks me dead in the eyes, and reaches up her dress to get the bloody pad she was wearing, stuck it to the wall and walked out.

  "I've seen a lot of f*cked up sh*t waitressing, but that was the only time I was left speechless."
• (#16) Woman Complains About Corny Service

  "I used to work at a quaint, family-owned seafood restaurant when I was a teenager. We sold fried corn, three pieces per order. If you wanted more, you better mention it, and it's gonna cost you extra.

  "I had a woman pick up her order and then drive back, screeching how she didn't get all of her corn. I open her bag - there's three pieces. I explain that it's all there, no mistakes at all, and even offer to give her a free drink for her drive home. She proceeds to go batsh*t crazy inside the restaurant, demanding that we give her extra food for free because she thought the order came with more. Being extremely tiny and young, I was terrified.

  "My managers are willing to work with misunderstandings, but they threw that b*tch out.

  "I have more, but on a scale of sheer craziness, she wins."

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